Look Out Shawn Johnson

Kendall is taking a Tumbling Class at the Y for 6 weeks courtesy of her A. Meghan for a Birthday Gift. She had her first class this past Monday Morning, and this hour was the greatest time ever for Kendall.

Kendall was referring to this class as dance class, some said, well don't refer to it as dance class, she will be upset when she finds out that it is not dance class. Let me just tell you something about Kendall's dancing, her preferred style of dance includes a lot of acrobatic moves and so these things she will learn at tumbling class will only perfect her skills.

She loved it.She thought nothing of the fact that there was no music playing. She walked in, saw a balence beam and was in heaven. I told her that she might just get to go on that today, she ripped off her sweater, grabbed a mat like the teacher told her to do, and said, 'bye mommy.'


We were able to observe her from the hallway through the windows. There is 6 girls and one boy in this class. I think Kendall may be the youngest in the class, but she fit right in socially. She laughed when she thought it was 'cool,' to laugh, and sat and listened to the teacher when she needed to, knowing exactly what was expected of her. Many of the kids must have taken tumbling before and so everything was second nature to them, and they were very confident, but Kendall was not phased by this in the slightest and loved trying all the new things. After each thing she did she would turn to make sure I was watching and have the biggest grin on her face. The determination that would be on her face as she tried to master each task was so cute.

The only person who did not have a good time that morning was Ethan. Ethan was heartbroken he could not join in on the class and could not be with Kendall. As we sat and watched he would occasionally have a crying melt down, and scream, 'I dance with Dendall,pweassse!' When I said class was over he sprinted to the door and ripped it open running on the mat to Kendall and giving her a hug. So although I am certain he wanted to be in the class also, I think he might have missed Kendall too.

Kendall was so excited to tell Andy about the class and went into great detail about the activities in the class. Everyday she asks if it is dance class day when she wakes up. I don't know what we will do when the 6 weeks is over.

So Long, Farewell...

Dear Old Man Winter,

Unfortunately this year, we are not sad to see you go. You really gave us a hard time this season. You produced snow that could not make snowmen. You left the days so bitterly cold and windy that on a simple sprint to the car, Ethan would freeze into position screaming and cursing you for chapping his cheeks and freezing his hands.

Speaking of chapping. You also gave our potty trainer who has inherited no hips from Joan Lyons chapped cheeks of another kind. You see, Kendall's body has no curves, much like her mother, who is much like her grandmother. So what happens is when there is a diaper missing, there is no cushion or padding, and when little ones with no curves run about in the cold weather, the chaffing starts, leaving sore stingy bottoms, and oh does it hurt!

You ran up our electric bill because Andy likes to be tremendously warm, and reside in a tropical climate all year long, you were way too cold to bear.

You tricked us 2 weeks ago, we thought you might be gone for good. So much so that we chanted Springs praises all the way during our walk to the park. What a glorious arrival it had made.





But then you kicked her right out on her tush, and showed her who was boss.

We did have fun on your last blast, Ethan finally decided that it was fun to play in the snow. But now it looks like you may be gone for good. My daffodils are starting to sprout up through the soil, which means that Spring told them it is safe for them to come out.

I also would like to balk about the appearance you leave behind after you wreak havoc. The ground is so muddy, the grass is brown, everything is wet, and it just looks really ugly, couldn't you just clean the place up before you left?

So goodbye old chum, perhaps next year will be better. Perhaps Kendall will learn to ski, and Ethan might want to sled. But until then...Good Riddance. We say this in good faith because Spring has already returned to me the cell phone you took and hid. The warm sun melted the snow revealing the best present so far...it still works too. Nice Try.

The Fink Family

P.S.

We have no qualms about leaving you behind.

THIS IS...American Idol. I was supposed to sound like Seacrest.

So I am an avid fan of American Idol, I have previously mentioned this. I have also said that I don't even support the winners career when they are through. It is completely true. I mean I went to high school with Justin Guarini, who LOST to Kelly Clarkson in the first season, but this kid made out with close friends of mine in high school, we even share a birthday, surely I must have bought a cd? But sadly no, I honestly could have cared less about what he did after this show. I know he made a terrible movie that I never saw, and did he release a cd? I have no idea. So you can see that since I didn't even support someone I associated with in high school, I certainly am not going to support lets say Taylor Hicks, but for the record I thought that Katherine McPhee deserved to win that season. I mean a guy who went prematurely gray who can only croon, not necessarily sing, and dances like a moron is an American Idol, really?


So what is the point of watching it? It is the process of the critique people. Now it is the same as when I watch, let's say, America's Best Dance Crew, or um, So You Think You Can Dance. I can't sing for the life of me, and I cannot dance like these people do, my style is more like Ellen Degeneres, just a subtle hip movement, shoulder shake, side steps, while singing off key, BUT, you better believe I can rip these people's talents apart. Oh that is not nice Melissa, you say, however, these people chose to subject themselves to public ridicule when they signed up for the show, I am just doing my part. Seriously though, if you watch these shows with me, Andy and my children can attest, you may think that I am some accomplished dancer or singer/songwriter. When I hear what they chose to sing, I immediately dictate my opinion on the song before a note is sung, i.e.,'Now why would she choose that song, she knows that she cannot hit that high note in the last verse.' And when they are finished I voice my approval, or rip into them like nobody's business. I have finally found a somewhat of a similarity with Andy in regards to his sport obsession, when these shows are airing, there are no interruptions unless they are relevant to the fool that is singing or dancing, it's showtime. However, I stop short at my day being ruined because the person or team I wanted to win did not, that is where the line is crossed people.

So what is my opinion on the Top 13? First off, I enjoyed this season's little drawn out choosing of the top 12, many did not, many thought it was unfair, pairing too many people in one group of but that is what the wild card was for fools. So here is my analysis on the contestants from this season, hopefully I will have the time to post each week my opinion on the show, because I know you live and die over my opinion on American Idol.

Adam Lambert: This guy is Andy's favorite, and on a good day, when I don't have a lot of phlegm in my throat, I too can screech like him. He is the epitome of an 80's Rock Ballad singer. The next lead singer of White Snake. He is entertaining. But what a showboat he is. Watch him the next time he sings, he winks at the camera, does little head tilts, and I am sure women everywhere who listen to Poison, and tease their bangs and wear scrunchies are swooning. Me? Not so much. I hate when he sticks his tongue out when he hits the high notes, and I don't know how he will fare when the theme changes each week. There are only so many times you can add a heavy metal twist to a song, I mean what is he going to do on country week?Can he sing, you bet your sweet bippy, does he have a sick range, for sure, does he annoy me, no doubt.

Alexis Grace: This is the girl who came out on stage in her lingerie, like she forgot her dress or something. It might have been like a dream where you walk out on to a stage to perform in your underwear and then wake up, only she was living the dream. She can sing, but to me, using a Simon quote, she is forgettable. She is bluesy, but I don't know, I could do without her on the show, she just got in a lousy group of 12, and she was one of the best.

Alison Iraheta: Now her and Adam need to team up for a duet somewhere in the season. She has taken the traditional girl rocker of the season position. But let me tell you this girl is 16, and she can sing, really good. She may not be one of my favorite, but my prediction is, if she picks some good tunes, she will go far, but this might be an issue with her, since again, she is only 16.

Anoop Desai: Easily one of my favorites of the season, but not for his singing, so I don't think he would be worthy of a win. But go ahead and check out a pic of him on Google or something, if you haven't heard anything about him, you would never in a million years think that he can sing. But he can, and the thing I really like about him, is that he is having fun with it. Like he is some college kid cool with whatever happens. I mean he sings Bobby Brown songs, he is most likely the entertainment of the party after a few beers get in him. I would not be surprised if this is his pre performance ritual, other are doing scales, and drinking tea, I see him sitting with the camera men drinking some Miller Lite.

Danny Gokey: This is the man that is surrounded in a bit of controversy because his wife passed away a few weeks before he tried out for Idol, so people thought he was put through on sympathy votes. That is too bad people might think that because he can sing, sad story aside. I don't really have much more of an opinion on that, he hasn't really stood out to me, but I think he will be in the top 5 or further.

Jasmine Murray: The other youngster, but this one bothers me, she is way to confident for 16, and you think not being picked until the wild card round might have brought her down a few rungs, but no, she thinks she is it. Nothing bothers me more than someone who thinks they are it, immediately, I hope she is off, early, I don't even care that she can sing.

Jorge Nunez: Another one that gets under my skin. Eternally optimistic, that sounds terrible, but he is ALWAYS smiling and happy, like Simon could have told him he was the worst contestant ever, and he would say, 'thank you,' and smile. I do not think he should be in the top 13, and I guarantee that he will go far because of that.

Kris Allen: Kris Allen got in because he is cute. I told Andy that when he said he wouldn't get in, and I was right. Little high school girls think he is so super cute, and I can see them just glued to the set when he performs, hanging on every note, and you need that to succeed in this show. It annoys me that his name starts with a K. You may say that is irrelevant to this competition, but this is my vote to place, and if I am not going to vote for him because his name starts with a K and little girls drool over him like they do over the Jonas Brothers, so be it.

Lil Rounds: There is always one of these girls in the season, a powerhouse girl, like Jennifer Hudson, or Fantasia, they can sing they crap out of a song, which she can certainly do. I think she is destined to be the vote off that makes Simon mad this season, there is always one. Simon says, 'I think the nation made a big mistake with this vote,' and the one left on the show is left feeling like the biggest piece of poop.

Matt Giraud: Something about him I just really like. Give him a piano and he is in his element, a great performer, I just don't think he has that big of a fan base. What got him in, was the judges, in each and every round so far, I hope that he has a good week next week, because otherwise, sianara.

Megan Joy: This girl is awkward, but I really, really like her style, could do without the arm tattoo that really kind of messes with her image, but I really like the way she sings, and why wouldn't I, she sings like many of my favorite singers, with that quirky twang in her voice. Now, if she would just not try and dance when she sings, that would be great. I actually get embarrassed for her, my face actually reddens. It is terrible, you'll see.

Michael Sarver: The classic married with a family blue collar worker, country singer, every season has one, here is this seasons. He can carry a tune, but there is far better than he, sad to say.

Scott MacIntyre: This is the blind man. Ultra talented, he can somewhat sing, and can also play the piano, which for someone who cannot see the lyrics to sing or the music to play, is pretty awesome. It will be interesting to see how they choreograph the group number and Idol tour with him on. However, handicap aside, I really don't think he can sing all that well. I get that it is awesome that he can do this much musically and is blind, but he is no Stevie Wonder, there I said it, you know that if you watch the show you thought it, you just weren't all that ballsy enough to say it, there I made it easier on you.

So who so I think will win American Idol at this point in the competition?

Either Alison, Danny, or Megan. Choose one you say, based solely upon performances thus far-Alison. I pick my final winner usually around 6 weeks left, so wait for it, my reason is because up until this point they have gotten to pick their own style. Now they have to sing all styles, and most fail miserably.

I will also be commenting on Paula's mental status each week also, because that to adds to the entertainment value of the show, I am terrible.

Enjoy the Season, I know I will.

I want to be just like Daddy.

Mmmm...Delightful.

Putting Ethan down for his nap, in runs Kendall, 'I have to go pee pee, quick, quick!' She is dancing, legs crossed, hopping, hands on crotch in that infamous I have to pee position, she falls over losing balance. 'Help I can't get these jeans off!' This is the problem; Kendall waits until the pee is about to come exploding out before she decides to go to the pot. So I with one hand, get the jeans unbuttoned, pull the pants down to her knees, and say, 'Run, quick!' I hear in response a few minutes later, 'I made it, wow, I really filled this up!' Well I guess so you haven't gone since you awoke this morning and have drank juice like you ran a marathon and were dying of thirst.

I put Ethan down, walk into my room, smell immediately registering. I look down, pile of poop. Like an animal, she has pooped on the floor. I call for her and see a rustle on my bed. I pick up the pile, with a wipe of course, flush it, and just casually walk over to her waiting to see if she will fess up. She has no jeans or panties on and is on my fresh sheets, bare butt. Terrific. I lift her up, and say, 'well since you went pee pee, we should just get your jeans and panties back on.' She replies in a sickly sweet tone, 'ok, Mommy.' I stand her up see the streaks left behind and ask 'Oh my Kendall, what is this on the sheets, did someone have an accident?' And she looks at me, eyes wide and innocent and says, 'Yeah Mommy, I think that Daddy pooped last night in bed,'; and then proceeds to look down at it with a look of sympathy for her poor Daddy who pooped in the bed. I ask, 'Oh really?' And she says, 'I sink so,' puppy dog eyes and all. I say to her, 'Well Kendall I don't think that Daddy would poop in our bed, he is a big person and poops on the potty now.' She then says, now being excited like she has solved the puzzle, 'I bet it was E Mommy, he poops all the time.' I then say, 'well Ethan wears a diaper Kendall, so I don't think it was him, I wonder who it could have been.' She proceeds in the fibbing now in way to deep and replies, repeating me, 'I wonder who it was.' I then turn to her and ask if her nose is starting to grow. She grabs at it frantically. I ask her, 'Why would your nose be growing?' And then there is a breakdown. Instant sobbing, 'I so sorry Mommy, it came so fast, racing out of me! I couldn't catch it, so I left it on the floor.' We go over the speech. 'Kendall you should not be waiting until you can hardly hold it to race to the potty to go poopy. You need to get to the potty when you first feel you have to go...' She looks at me, still visibly upset and says, 'Daddy always races to go poopy when he gets home from work, and he makes it, I want to make it like Daddy.' I then tell her, well Daddy is really talented. When he was little like you, he couldn't hold it for a very long time.' And she says, 'Well when I get bigger like Daddy, I want to be able to hold it a long time.' I say,' fine, but until then, you need to get to the potty right away, otherwise you will never learn this fine talent.'

Just what we want to be able to do when we grow up. Daddy is incredible.

My Cell Phone

Is lost. It rings. I don't hear it. No one hears it. I have walked outside into the frozen tundra listening for it. No cell phone. When I call it no one answers. Soon the battery will die and there will be no hope for the missing phone. I stopped at Wawa yesterday. Maybe I sat it down on the counter? Maybe it is on vibrate? I don't think I did that. I called WaWa, no phone. My friend Chrisy, who lives by the Wawa will stop there later this afternoon to get coffee, she is going to ask, because she misses my phone to.

Not like it was the greatest cell phone. I should be due for an upgrade, why haven't we had an upgrade?

Needless to say that with this great loss comes the loss of my SIM card and phone number I think? Does this truly happen? I like my phone number, it is so close to Andy's number, that makes it fun like we are a cute couple or something.

I lose a lot of things. This makes Andy angry with me. It's not like I do it on purpose. It isn't like the things are not valuable to me. My explanation is as follows, if anyone cares. Which no one ever seems to, but none the less, here it is.

Do you know how many things in a given day that I have to keep going in my head? I am the mother of two and a cat, as I type this there is another kitten in my half bath that we are letting spend some time with us before we release it back to the snow...it was skinny and needs milk and food. I have no problem continuing to feed it on my porch, it just can't live with us. As previously mentioned this makes Lily so very angry, presently she is down in the basement, behind the fridge down there, scowling, and screeches at me every time I try and talk to her.

You see what I am saying? So this is the kind of things that go through my mind. I have to entertain my children, clean, feed, instruct, and love on them throughout the day. I also have to keep the house going. Do you know how much laundry I have to do? It is so very insane. I also have to clean my house, because if it was not clean at the end of the day, it is all I would think about as I lie in bed at night, and I would much rather think about my cute kids or something. I also have a highly stressful part time job. So it only pans out to about 20 hours a week, but from the second I walk in the door until I walk out I am going 100 miles an hour, no joke, come watch me, I am sure it is entertaining. But it is a high pace, juggling a thousand things, decision making job, and that is what I like. I also have a husband who gets the shaft on many a day. And I am so sad for that, so then I have to think about that, and how I make that up to him, and so that makes me a really bad wife, so then I think about that. See? It goes on and on. And I really want to rent a carpet cleaner from Lowes and clean my carpets, and I really wish it was warmer out today so that we could build a snowman without freezing parts of our body off. So something as simple as sitting my cell phone down somewhere absentmindedly can easily happen when you are thinking about how to incorporate firm discipline and have Kendall understand that calling people things that are better left in a potty is not appropriate even when other kids get away with it. That is more daunting of a task than easily described. Because Kendall getting in trouble for calling a friend this while the friend continues to do it and not get in trouble is troublesome. To each his own.You can decide what and what does not come out of your kids mouth, but explaining that to my three year old is difficult. See you too have already forgotten that I set my cell phone down somewhere.

Geez can I get an addition on my brain? Perhaps just resigning to not actually pick up anything important and also small, or perhaps a sort of plastic surgery that might attach these objects to me. Can someone now explain this all to Andy, because I am certain he is annoyed with me over this cell phone...among many other of my nuances.

On to nap time, can I lie down, is that kosher with a pile of wash that could dress the entire homeless population? Is that ok with peanut butter and jelly on every surface, or while my cat is ready to pack her bags and leave?

Oh and my funny ad for the week. I saw this commercial on tv one night while watching Chelsea, and I was laughing out loud. It even disrupted Andy's snoring I was laughing that loud at it. Ellen also recently played it on her show. Because that is right Ellen Degeneres and I could be great friends. More on that later...