Lincoln was a Good President, Not a Tunnel

So as it turns out someone recieved some tickets to the Rachael Ray Show, ahem, that would be me, and um, well you know, I rallyed in some lady loves, and we decided to make a day of it. And I am aware that it is not Oprah, but that's cool, Oprah founded her, and so interconnection is welcome as well.

No, let me just tell you how excited I was to make this day trip, we all had our sitters within 24 hours of me obtaining the tickets, one month in advance.

I am a big fan of New York City, and I am all about being and looking like the tourist and I take absolutely no shame in that. I have been there many many many times but for some reason am still all googly eyed staring at it all. My favorite is the ultimate touristy thing to do and that is to go to a Broadway show. Love them. When we went to see 42nd St, I wished that I had been a tap dancer and stuck with the tap dance lessons instead of moving to jazz. No, like, I really got a bit sad about it, because tap wasn't cool at the time, but look where it could have taken me. No, the thought did not enter my mind that perhaps you actually need to be good at the actual tap dancing. Nope, just sadness for myself, because I wanted to wear the gold glittery unitards and be all fancy up on stage.

I am a very theatrical person, I mean some wonder where Kendall gets it from, but let me just tell you, I will randomly break out in broadway vebrato song and dance, you know, whenever inappropriate. Ethan begs of me to stop. Yesterday I was just singing about how much he has grown and that his pants are too short, and for my finale took a flying leap off of his bed. I seriously think I injured something somewhere in my hip, its quite sore today. So in the weeks leading to this day trip, not week trip, not even overnight trip, I would break out in song and dance to 'Annie's N.Y.C.' My kids were ready to send me to my room with no snack.

'You crowd, You cramp, You're still, The Champ, Amen for N.Y.C.'

I kept hoping that our husbands would grace us with some reward; tickets to a show, hotel rooms with a view of Central Park, reservations to the yummiest restauarants with brunch on Sunday,  and unlimited amounts to spend in the stores. And then I woke up. Seriously? It would cost as much as a 2 week stay in Hawaii for one long weekend in N.Y.C. God love it, but I don't know how people sleep at night charging $3.00 for a glass of Diet Pepsi. You that I can get 3, 2 liters bottles of this at Target. Next time I am stuffing that in my purse as well.

So we decided to drive into the city. I have always taken the train. But for some reason we agreed that it might be easier, and it was, until we hit the Lincoln Tunnel. I had never been through the Lincoln Tunnel. It's a bit like survivial of the fittest. What it is is this giant u-turn into this open area with no lines, no signs, no one directing traffic, no limit of the amount of people permitted into this open area. And we are all trying to get into one of three tubes. It is similar to a funnel. It makes no sense to me. And the closer you get to the tunnel it all of a sudden starts to move, almost like you are smushed, smushed, smushed and POP, you go through the hole. And cars get so so close to each other. We had a tourist van almost slowly glide itself right into the passenger door, like it was nothing, just wanted to attach itself right onto us and have some of my coffee.

We decided that this might be the job for me. Standing between the openings of the tunnel up high on some pedastool, and everyone who is to enter the tunnel as to tune to a set radio station. They will then hear me and know when it is their turn to move, where to position themselves, and when it is their turn to go through the tunnel.  'Red Hyundai Sonata, with the female driver, please move into the left line.' And, 'White Prius, with the sunroof open, please proceed into the tunnel.' I don't know, but I think I might have a job idea there, alert the city council. Another thing that would make me quite nervous is being in stand still traffic in the actual tunnel. I tell you if it lasted more then 20 minutes, you are fairly warned that I will be abandoning my vehicle, and walking out. And it was pointed out by one of my savvy friends with me that day, what happens to the tiles that fall off of the ceiling in that tunnel? No joke, look up next time you are in a tunnel, there are missing tiles, and I have never thought of this. Who's car do they hit, I want to meet this person. What happens?

Another job that I found for myself on our drive in was the Honking Patrol. Did you know that there are signs in the city that actually say, 'No Honking, $350 citation.' Seriously? There were people honking all over the place in these areas. We were well over $3000 in fines within the first 5 minutes of our arrival. I want to be the person who bangs on their hood and slaps a big fat ticket onto their windshield. I mean seriously, this economy needs jobs, and needs money flowing, it's time to fine those Wall St big wigs and stop the honking!

And this was all getting into the city, what about Rachael Ray, my first ever, I said it, first ever taxi drive? Did you know that they have t.v.'s and touch screen maps? It's outrageous. More to come.

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