11.29.2012

Snowman

The little weasel loved the snow.
He woke up nice and early and I opened his curtain proclaiming:
'Jake, look outside!!!'
It was marvelous.
That perfect little reaction of excitement and awe that comes with seeing the first snow by a wee little one.
He drew in his breath.
I asked him, 'What is it buddy?
He whispered real slowly, 'its snow.' like he really wasn't certain this is what it really was, right out of the pages of his little books he paws through. It hasn't snowed much in his lifespan.
I repeated, 'yes, its snow.'
He then started jumping and clapping, 'SNOW!!!!!'
He then started running around the house, 'Dendall, its snow!! Etan its snow!!!!'
They opened their groggy eyes.
Kendall asked, 'do I still have school?'
Ethan asked, 'can I go outside?'
Can't they all be two?

I then went downstairs to start breakfast and pack Kendall a lunch because its too stressful to buy a lunch...people will look at her!!!! Jacob followed me down, opened the curtain in the living room and shouted; 'It's snowing downstairs too!!!' Then proceeded to run everywhere in the house; 'snow out dis window....and dis window,...and dis window!!'

'Dendall!! Etan!!! Snow comes everywhere!!!'

Love that kid.
After school and an hour of wrangling three children into their snow gear that may or may not fit, and convincing them that bibs are the perfect pair of snow pants, no snow gets in them, and no, she doesn't look like a puffed up ball of puffiness in her snow pants everyone will look the same, we were outside.


The little weasel helped me build a snowman. He was so proud. As you can see by putting just the rear end to the snowman, Stan was indifferent. He hates snow and sat on a little patch of green the rolling of the snowballs made. Sissy.

Hopefully is snows everywhere some more this winter. I told Kendall that looking like a puff ball of puffiness happens to by my style.





11.17.2012

Hitting the Pavement

So.
Its been a little bit now.
I can safely admit that I am running again.
Running and me have a real love/hate relationship.

For one, it causes my feet to look as though they have been walking through the desert with no protection from the elements and then been gnawed on by an occasional lizard. At some point the nails just come off. Like they are some piece of dried skin, flake right off, its so hot, I know.

On the plus side, the shape my body will eventually, after like 6 years of this, begin to match my chicken legs. For when I don't run and then proceed to get pregnant 6 times and have three children my body takes on the shape of an upside down pear. And some might say, thats awesome, your rack is plentiful. Let me tell you, they aren't all their cracked up to be, in fact I'm not quite sure why people pay for them, but that's for another post. But let me just say, I wear a sports bra as well as my sausage casing so that I don't knock myself out while running. (sausage casing: a sport tank that most women can wear as a sports bra) I literally feel like, well, a sausage, from the waist on up.

The time of day that I do most of my running is going to make me mentally insane. I run at 5:30 a.m. on some days. I know, its like I'm on crack or something. I want to be done well before the kids are up and I prefer to run outside, so this is what I have to do...definitly not what I want to do. I am sure the novelty will wear off at some point.

Once in a great while I run when I get home from work at 11:30 p.m. I'm up, I have a caffeine high from coffee and diet pepsi, I might as well run it off. So if I remember, I change before I get home, jump out of my car, and run. I actually run the longest and the fastest at this time. I run in well lit areas, in  my neighborhood, carry a flash light, and run like the boogie man is fast on my heels. I tell you what. I'm not the only one in my neighborhood running at this time, just last week, I passed two other women running. It's like we come from another planet, us moms. We want to run. Have 3 blood sucking mongrels to take care all day who have made you need to run. So then you have to run at times when it best fits their schedules. Could they be any more selfish?

When I run in the morning, I am at my worst. I mean the things that come out of my mouth when running this early will make you think you were running with a sailor. It's not pretty or something I am proud of, its just I am not a morning person and my body gives me that big f you at about 5:45 a.m. I want to throw myself in front of the trash truck barreling down the road, which by the way, 'SPEED LIMIT IS 25 MPH PAL!!' Ok, so maybe I don't exactly say pal, but this is a mommy blog. But I literally want to die or just puke all over the place. I opt to keep going, for the sake of the selfish children. Because I have to be done my run to take care of them, they don't do this themselves. Honestly?

However, the trudging  on for the sake of the children leads to the one thing I love about running; the end. It is then instant gratification. I term my running style the tortoise and the hare. I will run like it is almost a walk until the very end and then sprint like my rear end is on fire. I then collapse in a heap on my kitchen floor, and then it hits me...I am done. I ran today, and its over, and I don't have to do it for another entire day. My mind really does work like that. It's like entering a circus ring, I'm sure.

When I am not running outside because my body curled up into a fetal position and would not allow my brain to make it run in the morning, or because my feet hurt too bad at night have forbid me to make one more step,  I will run on the tread mill. Some people are like, 'you have a treadmill, its so easy, run inside, whenever you want, turn on the tv.' Blah, Blah, Blah. Here's what. Treadmills are stupid. The pounding, the getting nowhere fast, the noise, the repitition. The television show does not distract you. Its amazing how it will distract you when you are eating a snack and before you know it, the bag is empty. But let me tell you, its not that way on the treadmill. Don't get me wrong, its nice to have a distraction, other then a wall, because mine is in the basement in front of the tv, but its way to easy to just stop. When outside you are running away from home, and eventually, on most days, you want, o.k., need, to get back. So you have to move your body to get there, and if you run, you get there faster. On a treadmill you can be like, forget this, and stop. It requires a lot of discipline to run on a treadmill, none of which I have. Have you met me?

Also, have you tried running on a treadmill with small children around?
'Mommy, can I have a turn now?'
'Mommy, I need a drink right now!'
'Mommy, move your foot a little bit, I am going to send one of my guys down along side of you so he shoots off into the wall.'
'Mommy, can you get me snack?'
'Mommy, can we watch my show?'
'Mommy, please, please, can we play on that like we are food shopping? Here E, you go get all the stuff you want to buy, I will be the money collector, just move a little Mommy.'
And the new fave since we watched Elf.
'Let's play Santas elves, you send a toy down and we can pretend we are making toys, Mommy, just jump over them when Kendall sends down the big ones.'

It's seriously right now only like 45 minutes out of my life daily. But it seriously wants to feel like its 4 hours. But I still do it. Not because I like to wear leggings. Not because Adidas has some really awesome kicks. Ok, maybe just a little bit. But I do it even though I hate it, because I know that I will eventually learn to love it. History repeats itself. And eventually being able to run a marathon sounds pretty awesome.

Philadelphia Marathon 2024? Anybody want to join me?



11.15.2012

How to not Lose a Tooth

I'm pretty sure my child goes through an episode of amnesia when losing each and every tooth in her mouth. It's as if she cannot remember that once the tooth comes out she was elated, remarking at how easy that was, laughing at her ridiculousness.

Because here's what.

When Kendall has a loose tooth we are take shelter in our own personal bomb shelters that protect us from her moody and dramatic episodes regarding the tooth until it finally just falls out. It literally has to be at the point where it just drops out of her mouth for her to be ok with all of it.

It starts like this:

"Mommy! My tooth is loose! See!?!?'
This is the beginning we all look at each other knowing the escape plan, careful to make no sudden moves. It is at the beginning that she lets us wiggle it, admire it, be excited about it, plan for the tooth fairy to come fluttering around our house like the entire process was a joyful coming of age event.

However. After this initial wiggle, that's it. She becomes unlike every other kid who sits and wiggles it all day, turning and twisting, willing it to come out. She actually will only wiggle it once a week or so. However, will ask daily, in fact several times daily:

"Mommy, when do you think this tooth will fall out? Like a week? Next month? Before Halloween/"

"Hey Kendall, maybe you should wiggle it and twist it a little bit, then it will loosen up and come out faster. I really have no idea of knowing though."

"You're kidding, right? I can't wiggle it!! It will hurt!! You really have no idea?"

"No."

Sometimes in the moments when I see her doing her weekly tooth wiggle, I will avoid eye contact and slowly back out of the room as to not stir up the drama.

For if I do not escape, I get:

"Mom, it is so super loose, please tell me how to get it out, please help me, I just want it out."

"Kendall, you need to wiggle it, twist and turn it. Want me to give it a try?"

"WHAT!?!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Are you seriously telling me you are going to touch my tooth, that is so gross. No way."

It is in the moment I want to say...."You think that's gross, hey guess what? YOU CAME OUT OF MY VAGINA, COVERED IN BLOOD AND SLIME!!!" But I don't. I could think its weird that the same child who picks her nose, or licks spatulas with her brothers thinks that a finger of her mothers in her mouth is gross. But we are talking about a child who is going to win an Oscar, and they all have some weird issue to write a book about, so I let it slide.

So another few weeks goes by.

The tooth is now literally hanging by a thread.
When she talks to me it is blowing in and out with each breath.
I am almost reaching for safety googles because I think it might fly out and hit me in the eye.

And here's what. At this point most people might refrain from eating things that may prove difficult. Like lets say an apple. Corn on the cob. Gum. A Starburst. Nope, not Kendall. She will contort her entire jaw so that she can eat said food without disrupting the tooth.

"Hey Kendall, you know I lost my teeth when I was little and I was pretty good at getting them out, want some pointers?"

"No, this is going to hurt so bad."

"Kendall, it is hanging by one root, it is ready to come out."

"No, it is a thick root this time, like really thick, thicker then last time, I checked."

We are at the point that if she shuts her mouth, the tooth is hanging out. She is snaggle tooth.

Then there is the dreadful night.
She will climb onto the the counter in the bathroom and sit herself in front of the mirror, and start to wiggle it.
We all attempt to run for cover. My poor boys.
There is no escape. It happens every time.
She sits up here at bathtime, while they are immersed in bubbles.
She wiggles and then starts sobbing. Its the same every time. She has the script perfected.

"Look at the blood. Oh my gosh. There's alot. Oh my gosh. It's gushing. There is so much more then last time. Mommy. Mommy. It is going to hurt so bad."

"Kendall just twist it, it will just rip right free."

The tooth is now of the gum and it is dangling by a root. I'm not kidding. Every single time.

"Kendall, it has to come out. Please just let me take it out for you. Shut your eyes."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! There is too much blood."

"Remember last time, same thing, and it didn't even hurt."

"Are you sure!!?!? This tooth is different. I know it. Oh my gosh what if it falls out while I am sleeping!?!? 'O' at school told me that if I swallow it, it comes out in my poop, the tooth fairy doesn't go after it."

I seriously am engaging in this conversation about whether or not a tooth fairy digs through poop.

"Kendall, if it falls out of your mouth, the tooth fairy comes. Whether you swallow it or you lose it. She knows it has come out and she is ok with not getting a tooth every time, she will still come, you can leave her a note explaining it"

"Ohhhhh....look at my poor mouth."

Slobber and blood dripping off the chin.

Boys now shouting, "Twist it, wiggle it!!"

And every time.

Bath time over. Sitting reading or watching a show and eating a snack.

"Oh, hey Mommy, my tooth just came out."

And there it is in all its glory between her two fingers every time.
She is calm as a cucumber.
She writes a lovely letter for the tooth fairy and leaves her a treat.
Smiles big for the camera.
Falls fast asleep.
Completely forgets the ending of the tooth saga.
Every time.




11.07.2012

Romans 13:1

Man alive.
Its rough when your candidate isn't victorious, huh?
There is opinions all over twitter and facebook and from the mouths of moms in preschool lines.
But lets just be mindful, despite winning or losing...

"Let every person be subject to governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God". -Romans 13:1
 
In other words...sit down.

11.06.2012

O


Pinned Image



Here's my food for thought as you emark on your day:

On Being Christian and Voting as a Democrat <-------click to connect to blog post

Of course there are considerably more issues at hand to discuss, but this was a blog post people, not a dissertation. We stick to the main points so it all kind of ends well.
Pinned Image
My friend Shannon posted this link today and I found it encouraging and discouraging at the same time, but very true:

6 Things to Keep in Mind <----click to connect to article
Fave Quote from this article:  'If people put as much energy into charity, volunteerism, mentoring, entrepreneurship, and creating non-governmental solutions as they do into politics, our elections would matter a whole lot less.' 

Thanks Shannon.

And then of course the funny and sarcastic...cause lets get real...Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: I hope Romney has binders full of people who can explain to him why it's weird to have binders full of women.Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: If I had a nickel for every political post I saw on Facebook, I'd be a member of Romney's 'middle class.'



11.01.2012

Hurricane Humbleness

Here's me:
Seriously? Is it necessary to talk about a coming storm for 5 days before it is 'predicted' to make land fall? They always do this, get everyone all hyped up and then nothing. They go to Lowes. They buy rope, hammers, shovels, rakes, generators, plywood. Can someone tell me where their supplies went from the last threatened storm? Do you need to buy a new shovel for each storm? Do they fly away? Get picked up in debris? Not exactly sure, but it keeps Mr. Lowe happy.

Stop worrying. We have lived in this neighborhood for 6 years, the electric has never gone out, our lines are underground.

But Melissa, they go under from lines above ground somewhere.

Well somewhere must be Illinois, because it is never an issue.

Here's me.
No extra water. No flashlights with batteries. No extra candles. Freezer filled with food.

Going to Target, need anything?

I can just pick it up tomorrow.

Are you driving home from work tonight?

Of course I am driving home from work. I drove to work 7 months pregnant in a devastating snow storm at four in the morning and got out to shovel myself out twice on 309, you think some wind and rain is going to stop me!?!?

Here's me at 4 pm: Can someone put my kids bikes away?

Here's me at 5 pm: You got extra water at your house? You filled your bathtub? Cool.

Here's me at 6 pm: What do you mean the boardwalk is gone? Does this mean summer vacation is off for next year? Someone call Chris Christie and get his opinion on whether or not I should rent a home or wait until the following summer.

7 p.m.: Text from neighbor: Electric is out.

Here's me: real funny.

Silence

Here's me: You're serious!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! What am I going to do? I just bought milk. Did it come back on yet? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Neighbor: I think you are overreacting a little bit. You act like I told you the roof ripped off your home.

Here's me: Apparently you have never been without electricity with three small children. PANIC IS NECESSARY!!!! It still is out?

Neighbor: Of course, have you looked out a window?

Here's me: No! I am sitting by the fire at work watching the boardwalk float away and wondering how cool the roller coasters will be for people in hundreds of years to find on the ocean floor.

9 p.m.: Ok, so maybe I should think about staying here. You're all staying here? Are the mattresses comfortable? Why did people who live near the ocean stay in their homes? Listen, if Chris Christie were in charge of my state and he told me to evacuate to Oklahoma I would get on the road, he has crazy anger in his eyes. You think he is going to run for president?  Did you hear him just slam that mayor. Man, could you imagine him in the Middle East?

10:30 pm.: Ok, so you just drove here, is it that bad? Do you think its ok?

Friend: So long as a power line or tree doesn't fall on your car while driving home, you should be fine. It's dark though, makes its really creepy.

Here's Me: Ok, I am going to start my car.

I about fly across the parking lot into my car.

Ok, perhaps the hurricane is here.

I get in my car and begin to drive. It was scary. I did look like some old lady looking up out of windshield hunkered up against my steering wheel squinting making sure a tree wasn't coming my way.

Get literally 2 minutes from home. I am a driving statistic.
Wires start flying loose, tree limbs are flying across the road in front of me.
I am directed to turn into a development because I can't continue the way I am going. I have absolutely no idea where I am.

Here's me. Moment of genius. To get to a main route Melissa, follow the snow evacuation route signs. I literally almost had to pull over and pat myself on the back. I did not lose all of my mind to these children.

I get to that road, little Honda Civic in front of me. All of a sudden, green light explodes everywhere. Warning blares are going off from my brain, this is a transformer Melissa!!!! BLEEEP!!!! The Civic swerves, a telephone pole comes down between us. The old lady in me once again looks up, its me or him with these wires.  Somehow they spread making a circle around his car. I put myself in reverse, turn around, the guy is looking out his window, I yell at him to stay in his car, but of course I must have looked like a big fat animated muppet flailing and waving out my window because there is no way he can hear me in the wind and rain.

I turn and there is emergency vehicles. The fireman asks me where I am going, I hesitate wanting to say Chuckie Cheese, and now these dumb wires are in my way.  I reply though with, 'home', biting my tongue. He then asks if I am allowed to be on the road? Is this a trick question? Is this the extra credit question on the test? I say, 'well I am a healthcare worker returning from my shift'. He says to me, right answer, I look at him and  want to ask, is there not a man in a civic you need to tend to instead of going over Disaster Rules with me, I got those 5 days ago on Action News, thanks Monica Malpass.

Here's me:
On phone with neighbor: I THINK I CRAPPED MY PANTS!!!!!! I AM DRIVING IN A HURRICANE!!!!

Here's me 2 am:
Blazing Bright lights, loud noises. I turn, scream, 'turn off the lights, the kids are sleeping and shut up before you wake them up or I will punch you in the face!!!' 
Here's me 30 seconds later:
Wait a second... the lights...Its back on!! And I get up and race around the house switching things off like I am in some game show.

Here's me 4 days later:
If you have one more day off from school I am seriously committing myself.
If Chris Christie runs for president, I am voting for him.
I bought flashlights, candles, batteries, and extra water to store.
No shovel. I still have mine from last snow storm.

I know, you are thinking I am an idiot. I readily admit to this. But cut me some slack. If you live where I live we pretty much always get all the hype about the 'could be' weather conditions, with none of the predicted results.

I also realize of course that we are tremendously fortunate to have had minimal damage to our home, belongings, and family because there are those who's losses are great. I make light of the situation because I am a moron. I am one of those who wouldn't have listened to Chris Christie and he definitely would have had a talking to with me and the thought of that frightens me. We keep all those who have lost in this hurricane in our prayers and thoughts. And if you live close, a hot meal and shower.

Here's me: Humbled