The Fourth Year & The BFF

This growing of children is ridiculous to me. It must be stopped. Time must start standing still.

I cannot believe he is 4. That is seriously impossible. I tell you I just want to march downstairs right now and swaddle him in his blankie and sing him songs that sound like lullabies but are really things I need to get done. You say he is too big, mind you, I have an almost 11 month old who is just the same size that I still swaddle and sing to, although he swats at my mouth when I sing. Listen, I never promised you a voice like freakin Celene Dion, but boy I can baby you like no other.

So on his actual birthday we went to The Crayola Factory. Ethan loves him an arts and craft time and this is like the mecca of preschool arts and crafts. He asked if he could take his BFF with him, and so that is what we did. We hit up the factory, made us some sweet crafts, got paint, chalk, marker and glue all over our clothes, had some ice cream that got all over our faces,  hit up our favorite pizza joint because they have a gumball machine, and called it a celebration .

And as evidenced in this pic, apparently we party hard...these two look like they were rolled over by that giant red crayon!
But let me just tell you something about my little man and his BFF, they are literally BFF's. I mean like up late at a sleepover chit chatting back and forth, playing for hours on end with not one squabble, not one. Leaving their mama and opting to spend immense amount of time at the others home without even a second thought. And this is all things that you do with your BFF, but at 3 and 4 years old? They talk about the other when the other isn't around. Just today E asked me, 'so do you think that Ryan would want to come over and hang out and play with my new toys from my birthday?' Come hang out?

It is not surprising that they are friends. They have the same personality, the same interest in toys, and think the other is just hysterical and just about the coolest person in the world. But their tightness, the BFF status is what blows my mind.

And you know, you hope for that for your kids. You hope for friendships that are strong, that are comforting, that are memory making, that are loyal and seek each others best interests. I had this growing up. A tight, almost crazy glued together tight, group of girlfriends that weaved me through childhood and teenage hell, and enabled me to be the person that I am today because they let me be me. We sought out the best in each other, accepted each other's faults, and man we made some memories.

In that group I had a super BFF that I thought for sure Kendall would have first, but like all things with parenting, I am always pleasantly surprised, and it looks as though Ethan took that.Kendall has a wide range of friends, is extremely social, and the life of the party, but hasn't zeroed in on a BFF quite yet, it changes daily. But Ethan has that someone that is your numero uno sidekick, someone who always has your back, even when they know you are wrong, and someone you can completely be yourself around.

 Each time I watch the Local News I am reminded of this friend because sometimes in the middle of the night you would find us laughing hysterically at each other as we attempted to name every reporter on the Action News Team. I kid you not. Many kids were sneaking out of houses, rolling their manual cars down the streets and then starting them within a safe distance from parents ears, and we were naming New Jersey Correspondents. Ok, ok, truth be told, perhaps we were doing both, not of course naming the accuweather team on the same night as the joy ride, that's just not safe, but in either situation we were definitely in it together.

I am incredibly thankful that my little buddy has a buddy of his own, when I really sit and think about it, and am not extremely jealous over the fact that he pays me absolutely no mind when his BFF is around. At home he is definitely outspoken by his darling older sister and his little brother requires a bit of attention, and so to have a buddy that you can simply just be with is just what he needs. They are both ironically middle children. And as my husband attests to over and over again, being the middler is rough sometimes. Yeah, well try being the oldest.

On the night the BFF slept over  for the first time, I could hear the two of them talking back and forth for over an hour just lying there in sleeping bags. Giggling, making superhero impersonations. But, what in the world could they possibly find to talk about at 3 years old for an hour? I have no idea what grown men even talk about when they are together, because they still manage to remain clueless when you ask what is new with the person they just spent an entire day golfing with. However,  I am sure that my parents thought the same of me and my friends as I did of E and his BFF. 'What could they possibly talk about until 3 am? Do they not spend every single day together?' But I was 15.

The two of them conference quietly together as activity rages on around them, and then they run off like tag team superheroes to conqueor whatever is that they have decided to counqueor, together. It is endearing, it is in some ways very enviable, because some search and search and never find a friend like that. And at now, 4 years old.

I was in New York yesterday with some of my lady friends and saw an interview with Elizabeth Berkley, you know Jesse Spano? More on that in another post. But she was talking about friendships and described them as, some sticking around for a reason, a season or a lifetime. And isn't that for real?

And the reason that E and his BFF are so tight is quite evident but I can't help but hope that it lasts a lifetime...cause beyond that...I think his mama is a pretty awesome friend as well.

So to my four year old man. I can't help but be in awe of you. Your spirit, your enthusiasm, and your sensitivity for others is honorable. I love being your mama. You are sweet and determined, and the best big brother. Your imagination reaches beyond the clouds and the way you love me melts my heart.

And from what it looks like...you are a pretty awesome friend.


  1. Hey FFMama,
    This is a wonderful love letter to your little guy, he will treasure it later on in his life ... but what is a BFF? Best Friend? what does the other F stand for? I know what it might be if these were adults but what is it for 4 year olds?Fran

  2. BFF is "best friend forever". its a bit of a sland term, my teenage cousins say, 'she is my bff.' so this is e's bff.