12.29.2012

A Few of My Favorite Things from 2012: Part One: You Tube

So every once in awhile I will peek onto youtube because let's face it; the things people video sometimes are awkwardly fascinating and some are just all around awesome. Its that bug on a wall complex sometimes. And also sometimes you are like, I totally did that, why did I not record myself, I could totally be viral, or whatever that might be. So as I sit in the midst of a Christmas Break wreckage of toys, pine needles, dishes, and cardboard boxes strewn everywhere; I thought, 'hey what the heck, cleaning sucks, lets post my fave youtube vidoes of 2012 so that all of you can procrastinate as well.'

I love me a good and funny prank. This one is one of my faves because I would totally do it. Who's in next Black Friday?




This is from last year on Jimmy Kimmel, I didn't see it until after Christmas last year, or else I might have been very tempted to do this to my children and then laugh my rear end off.


But I thought you should know, so that you remind me, I will be doing this to my children next summer.


I don't care what anyone says. It is not just the red hair. Shaun White looks just like my cousin Ryan. It is unbelievable. I am quite certain they came from the same uterus, my aunt birthed two children, they told her it was one because the White family cut a sweet deal with the ob/gyn for a flaming red headed baby. Just overlook the age difference. It's cool. Just a two year age difference. And you know, so nice of Shaun to be doing such nice things...even though it was totally necessary for him to clean up his image in 2012.  Irregardless, I will be donating my hair to the same charity once a certain sister gets married in 2013 and there is no reason for fancy hair, i.e., this mangled mane I have now, in an updo, its more about sensible hair.

 
 
 
This next video is from a youtube channel that I find hilarious. I don't know why, I think it is because I live with a bunch of young people who talk like this. They left me saying aloud, 'why did I not think of this ?!?!' I will preface the video by filling you in that these are videos of adults acting out what kids say. A few kids are asked to tell a story about something like, catching Santa or, going to the bank, or going on a blind date, and then this dude records adults acting out these stories. I love it, and if you have children or are around children of the same age, you will also think this, otherwise, you will be like, this is just dumb, and for that, that's a crying shame. YouTube Channel for these instant classics is BoredShortsTV.

 

 
 
Unless of course you live under a rock, you know that there is this new show Nashville out on ABC. I love this show. There was only one other show I looked forward to as much as this show each week, and that is Sex and the City. I am still watching SATC replays, even though I own the dvds, and I wish the show was still going on. And I am aware that the movies are a bit cheesy, I still adore them. I get a little sappy talking about how the show is over...what like 6+ years later? ANYWAY...back to Nashville. These sweet little girls are on it. I have seen them before this show, and I thought they were the cutest and hippest things going. Here they are singing a pretty awesome song and banging around recyclable materials. They are really that good.
 

 
 
 
This last video is about the grossest and most fascinating thing I have ever seen. My sister and her hubs found the video and passed it on to me. We are obsessed with pores. I really think that at some point my sisters and I will be on a TLC show entitled, 'My Strange Fascination.' In another life I was a dermatologist. Convinced of it. I will readily admit that my sisters and I text each other with statements like this, 'yo, should have seen the giant black head I got off my forehead today.' Sometimes a picture is included. I really could care less what you think about this and I am not afraid to share this information with you. I can also guarantee that after you watch this video, you will encourage someone else to do the same. If you have a weak stomach, do not watch this video, ok watch it, but like be ready to dry heave. I would first like to comment with the same things that you are going to ask yourself; 1. who lets something like this go this long? 2. why in the world are these people doing a home extraction looks like in a kitchen, with clutter around?  You may then ask yourself an additional question as to why there are tons of people there watching like its a party and why it is being filmed? I will not ask myself this question because if someone in my family had this thing going on on their back, I would totally be there and bring the beverages...my sisters and I would even fight over who got to pop it and who got to film it. Yeah...we are that odd.
 
 
I will admit...grossest part is her wiping the junk off her arm...ok that is nasty. Also...I would require face masks...this thing has got to reek. And what is with that woman's tan?
 
 Happy New Year Homies...
 
Up next...my Fave Things of 2012, Part Two...things I could not live without this year.
 


12.20.2012

Your Card

 
 
 
 
Another Piece of Holiday Advice:
 
 
The best way to lose Holiday Cheer, is to attempt a sibling photo each and every year.
 
 
Our advice to you is simple and sweet.
Take them alone and bring sure to bring treats!
 
 
Wishing you a Very Merry Christmas.
 
Love,
 
 
Kendall Anne
(bribed by Reeses Peanut Butter Cups)
 
 
 
Ethan Thomas
(bribed by a piece of bubble gum and being able to play Wii with his uncle)
 
 
&
 

       Jacob Michael
(bribed by a Tootsie Roll Pop and singing 'The Wheels on the Bus' 3 times)

Say Cheese

I'm not going to pretend that I don't have the most wonderful of intentions when I embark on taking group photographs of my children in hopes of portraying their undying love and affection towards each other. I even go as far as color coordinating. Because, I don't know, I enjoy torturing myself sometimes.

Sometimes I even think, I am totally going to make an awesome Christmas Card and its going to color coordinate with their outfits of color coordination and we are going to be so coordinated people are going to crap this coordination. I don't even know where this fantasy comes from. I have never once been successful in all 5 years that there have been more then one of these creatures I call my children.

The oldest finally gets it. You sit still, keep quiet, smile, and its over. And your mother just rants and raves on and on about how cute you, are and what a good girl you are for sitting and posing. Then she gives you the piece of candy you were bribed quicker then your siblings. (this is a must) And then you can go about on your merry filled with sassiness way.

The boys. Its like I am asking them to sit still and smile with love so that I can then begin ripping their limbs from their bodies. I beg, I bribe, with my mother in the back ground, 'you shouldn't have to bribe them to behave.' Oh yeah lady? Its my complete and utter understanding that this is the basis of parenting. You go pee pee on the potty I will give you a pop. If you are a good boy at the food store you can pick out a special snack. If you get all your spelling words correct you can watch a special show tonight. I wish someone would bribe me once in awhile. I would be like grand master over achiever. 'Melissa, if you get this whole entire house clean by the end of the day I will let you run away to a destination of your choosing for the weekend.' This house would be so clean by 4 pm they could eat their hot pockets off the toilet seat.

So clearly, I have amnesia to continually come up with the same dysfunctional idea that I can achieve this goal of portraying sibling love. And in doing so, I attempt a group photo a few times a year. Each time it has the same outcome. This is what happens when you have more then one child, and they are not like lets say 8 years apart. I just feel like I should break the news to you. No matter what, one of them is going to have a meltdown when you pre plan something. I constantly live on that edge of anxiety when attempting anything that involves them acting like human beings. I can be seen eyeing each one of them up and down trying to decipher who holds the ticking time bomb of complete mental and physical breakdown. So when I hone in on my target, I can try and heed he or she off by ever so gently squatting down and whispering in their ear with a sweet little smile on my face, 'listen, I am onto you pal. If you so even  as much as let one little hand make a gesture that doesn't mimic pure angelic behavior, its going down in china town tonight.'

This doesn't always work because, lets face it, I don't even take myself seriously, and we don't live near china town. I will pre advise you, since I do not take my own advice all the time and end up annoyed and disheveled; fly by the seat of your pants as often as possible.

This photo shoot was no exception to my not taking my own advice lifestyle, and so without further ado...the next post will have your Christmas Greetings from us.

The theme was gray and blue. That's as far as we got in the parameters of organization. Because I am an over achiever and it is the child's job to make this utterly impossible.

Preview:
 
Oldest child smiling, anticipating the chocolate I hold behind my back. Two year old not having it 
because he cannot have the piece of chocolate pre photo. Middle child not even in frame, just outright not cooperating and does not give two flying poops about chocolate bribe.
 
 
Oldest child still smiling, clearly my favorite. Two year old has decided that perhaps he does not want to sit in time out for the rest of his life as threatened. Middle child crawling into frame whining and complaining like I asked him solve the national debt crisis instead of just sitting and smiling for a picture for 5 seconds.

12.15.2012

Loss of Innocence


Sitting in my blog drafts is an entry I have been working on about protecting my kids innocence.

Did I ever tell you I hate the school bus?  My kids can't even behave in a car driven by me 2 feet away from them with just the three of them in the car and they are 2, 5, and 6. Now you add 60 more kids of all elementary ages in a vehicle thats like 75 feet long with no seat belts and one adult and tell me, how is this good?

And let me tell you. I know a thing or two about the school bus. I rode in one. I'm a professional, alright?  I had an assigned seat in the front back and middle of the bus in my day.  Its a metal bin of potty mouths flying, spit ball flinging, and story telling bonanzas.I may or may not have been exposed to my first nudey magazine in a school bus. I won't mention any names here, but they know who they are, my eyes would never be the same.

I would have been completely fine driving Kendall to and from school daily if it meant avoiding the entire school bus situation. However, like a rite of passage, she so looked forward to this opportunity. To ride in the school bus, it was almost magical.

Kendall also just adores her bus driver. This bus driver has taken the time to learn each of their names and greets them excitedly each and every morning, and bids them farewell daily and occasionally gives them little trinkets and stickers on very special days. But she is one woman against like I said, 60 plus kids. Kendall has told me that due to the older kids not behaving they now have assigned seats.

I do remember this when I was in school. I always sat with my best friend, so in any circumstance, I had an assigned seat with her from kindergarten on. We could essentially hunker down with our knees pressing into the seats in front of us and be in our own world so that last months issue of Hustler was shielded from us by the immense height of the seat backs. In many circumstances while going through school I was completely blessed by this one person who was my better half, the school bus ride is one of many.

So my inner turmoil went on and on as Kendall boarded the bus daily. I reminded her that bullying was not ok, and that I wanted to know about it. I let her know that the things that came out of other kids mouths aren't sometimes pretty things and that she needed to remind herself of that and of what is right and wrong to her and in her home. I encouraged her to sit close to the front, and to find a buddy. I let her know that she is an example and although it may not always seem like it, someone is watching and its ok to show how to behave instead of going with those that aren't even when that seems easier. I reminded her she is a good friend and to look for chances to be one to someone who might not have one. In essence, I was preparing her to lose her innocence on a school bus, because she came from a bubble, like most five and six year olds should,  and all I wanted her to do was wear ear muffs and blinders.

Last week I watched her get off the bus and I could read her body language as she took that last step onto the pavement. I walked quickly towards her as she raced her little legs towards me and wrapped herself around me. As I pulled her away to look at me I could hear the sobs. I quickly asked her what was wrong, she stated, 'some girls on the bus weren't nice to me and were laughing at me.' My heart crumpled into a million little pieces. You know its one of those things that you know the world will not always be nice to your little girl. But you still want to protect them. And in those moments you wrestle with being Mama Bear and growing angry, and to logical mom knowing that this is the way of the world, and I need to tell her how best to handle it. I asked her what her friend and seat partner did, she said, it happened after her bus stop and she was already gone. These older girls I suppose had shared a secret and when Kendall asked about it, they laughed, teased her, and then secreted some more, leaving her feeling awkward and embarrassed. I told her I was sorry, but that I was so very proud of her for sharing with me. In my head I was walking up to these girls on the bus and telling them a thing or two about what I thought about them messing with my baby.

As Kendall and I sat together in our protected little cave, I asked her what I wanted me to do. Did she want to move seats, closer to the bus driver? She said no, all of her friends were around this seat. So we discussed it. At two and three years old, if a playmate is doing something you don't like or not sharing, we encourage our kids to point out the wrong, saying no thank you, or I don't like that. In a bus, when you are six, without one hundred percent supervision because I want the bus driver to focus on the road, we talked about ignoring the girls who had hurt her feelings. That no, it wasn't right, but sometimes the bigger and better thing to do is to just ignore the situation all together so there aren't more problems. She fearfully asked what she was to do if they didn't stop, I told her that at that point we share with the bus driver in private and that she will take care of it.
She didn't want to do this because she didn't want the girls mad at her. I let her know that I too hoped it wouldn't end up this way, and that if worse came to worse I would just come and dangle these girls out the windows by their ankles, while the bus driver whipped around sharp corners, that will teach them to tease younger kids. Alright, so maybe I didn't say that, but I did start some bicep curls of a higher weight this week in preparation. Ok, so maybe I am kidding again, maybe. Watch your back ten year olds.

So she bravely boarded the bus the next day. Yesterday she came to me and told me it worked. She pretended those bigger girls weren't there and she minded her own business and nothing happened since last week. I was her freaking Ann Landers, a hero of advice...alright for this one thing, give me some credit.

Phew.

But at the same time my heart was extremely heavy. School bus mockery seemed so small in comparison to a stranger storming into your school with guns shooting at you and your friends. I didn't feel foolish for worrying about the bus.  This was Kendall's realm of unfairness and meanness at this point. What I felt was anger. Anger that this is where the world is. That I need to not only worry about children on a bus teasing my kids, but I need to worry about people coming into their school with weapons potentially taking them from me. When I was young we did drills for tornadoes, never for threats of terror. I remember covering my head cowering against the wall in a ball with anxiety thinking, what if there is a real tornado?!?! I would never be able to handle wrapping my head around a drill for potential terror.

 I choose not to discuss this with Kendall unless she has questions. I think she is at an age and grade in school where she will not hear about this tragedy. I trust her innocence enough at this age that if she is fearful, and does hear something, she will come to me. And I will pray silently that what seems to be continually happening in safe environments all over America is never a reality for her or her brothers.

I am slow moving with a heavy heart for those families of all of those children in that school, I am sure they would trade bus ride mockery as an issue in a heart beat, I know I am thankful. But I am also angry for their grief. I want someone to do something. I want gun control and I want a greater awareness of mental illness. I want to only have to worry right now about school bus mockery. Let's start doing this together, NOW.

12.06.2012

I'm a little bit Country

I should probably start off by acknowledging my daughter Kendall and Taylor Swift as chief contributers to me writing this post. For without the two of them I wouldn't be singing at the top of my lungs everywhere, thinking that I should have learned to play the guitar and would be better off living in the middle of the country on a giant cattle farm raising cowboys.

My listening repertoire never ever included country. I can fully admit that I used to mock those that wrote a song about everything from their dog Buster to their grandfather who sits on a rocking chair on a rickety porch in Louisiana. I felt they all sounded the same. They all had the same rhythm and the same lines about a no good mister who's granpappy warned her about.

Then I had a daughter. A daughter who believes in fairy tales and princes and that girls can do anything; like play a guitar and write some really awesome songs if she wants to. Taylor Swift quickly became her 'thing.' She still is her 'thing.' I know every last one of her songs since I am privilege to her concert performances daily, reenacted by her number one fan. No lie, this chick has the concert dvd and has got every quirky expression that Taylor makes down to a science.

I couldn't deny it. She was catchy. Quickly there I was singing, 'someday I'll be livin in a big old city...,' like I could actually carry a tune. I was left like, 'hmmm....if shes good and I like her, there must be others.

I had to be completely honest with myself after having children who like music and singing and dancing. The Beastie Boys do not write nursery rhymes. It's a shocker, I know.  However, I have also previously mentioned that I have been known on occasion, to maybe while rocking a baby for hours and having run dry of sweet little lullabies, to I don't know, possibly start singing 'Brass Monkey,' softly and slowly. Then though, your children start to grow and start to learn things, and memorize things, and mimic, something like developmental stages, blah, blah, blah. And well the music that perhaps I liked probably wasn't something I really wanted them belting out in the grocery store or at a family dinner, or while playing with friends. Could you imagine?

Kendall: Hey let's make our barbies sing our favorite song
Friend: Ok
Kendall: 'Coolin' by the lockers getting kind of funky
Me and the crew - we're drinking Brass Monkey'


Yeah, I'm thinking, not so much.

However, there is only so much Laurie Berkner a person can mentally take. I'm all for kids music really, I am. They are silly and the kids identify the characters singing.  But sometimes, I just need a little normalcy; not some 'skit a mir rinky dinky dink.' And Kids Bop. Please. Do not get me started. Children all singing in the same tone a song sung well by Katy Perry about being a California Girl. Then when they start changing lyrics to make them kid friendly and ok to sing, is actually almost enough enable you to willingly commit yourself. They sound like members of some weird kid cult chanting.

Taylor Swift was a compromise. But again, the same music over and over and over and over again, can get irritating on a good day.

So I allowed myself to explore country music for a week. I stuck to it. And what I found was that I liked it. Not everything. The overly country music is still a little too much for me to digest, like goin' out to shoot some ducks in the swamp and drink beer, uh, no thanks. But for the most part, it kind of stuck on me. And you know what? They really don't sing about inappropriate things. Did I just say that?

Yo. You guys. I am totally a mom now. I used the word, inappropriate.

So I sing right along with Lady Antebellum in my off key ugly way, and I don't mind a bit. And the lyrics, I really kind of like most of them. I am still a bit baffled by the entire thing myself.

There are some, I will admit, I listen to on my own, like say Miranda Lambert, but man she's a lady after my heart who sings my songs. I highly recommend her.

We have been listening to The Band Perry on our playlist for a bit and I don't mind at all when I hear:

Kendall: Hey, let's make our barbies sing our favorite song
Friend: Ok
Kendall:Would you walk to the edge of the ocean, Just to fill my jar with sand. Just in case I get the notion, To let it run through my hand...

Because Ken would totally do that for Barbie...as he should, as he should baby girl.

Click Here to Get Down to some of my Faves

12.02.2012

Can't Hang

I don't know about you. But my Saturday nights are really awesome.

I mean I say it sarcastically, and there really is nowhere I would rather be but with my little  loves on a weekend night. However, there are sometimes when you think...man, if my younger self could see me now, it might actually jump off a bridge. I'm not kidding. I think I thought of myself as never giving up my youth. That I could have 3.5 kids, a job, and totally hang. I was really just plain stupid. Older self to younger self: 'memories are just that; memories...and you will make some more age appropriate, new, and more important ones, for instance; raising a human being.'

 I also really love the phrasing, 'cant hang.' My uncle...my uncle...makes him sound so old when really he has kids who hang with my kids...anyway, he posted a pic of his kids randomly a few weeks ago of them passed out on a weekend night in the back of his car, captioning it, 'can't hang.' I am all about finding humor in phrasing cause we all know its supposed to be referencing some drunk as a skunk frat kid passed out at a party in a weird location. To spin it and put it on something so simple is funny to me.

I may regret finding humor in this photo in about lets say 10 years when my son  may be the photo taker and driver, and you throw my daughter passed out in the middle of the twins, and then my other son, in the passenger seat,  posts it on twitter, or whatever media site is totally addictive and I will be stalking them on. But for 2012, its funny.

I have a way dry humor. I laugh the hardest when most people were like, 'was that supposed to be funny?!?!' Like Napoleon Dynamite. You either thought that was the stupidest movie in the history of time, or laughed until you pissed your pants.  I mean just the name of the llama, 'Tina,' that was hilarious to me, and the way he talked to Tina I was seriously rolling and playing it over again. Best person to watch this movie with is my Casey cousins, we literally laugh that silent laugh because we are laughing so hard we can't make noise and then when we catch our breaths repeat the line and laugh at each other all over again the same way.

So with this. I would like to start, 'can't hang' themed pics. Please forward me your best and I will post them under this theme. Of your cat, your spouse, your mailman, your cashier. People who clearly; 'cannot hang.'


Here's my homies at 11 on a Saturday night after a day of holiday decorating and a night filled with pounding some mugs of hot chocolate.


11.29.2012

Snowman

The little weasel loved the snow.
He woke up nice and early and I opened his curtain proclaiming:
'Jake, look outside!!!'
It was marvelous.
That perfect little reaction of excitement and awe that comes with seeing the first snow by a wee little one.
He drew in his breath.
I asked him, 'What is it buddy?
He whispered real slowly, 'its snow.' like he really wasn't certain this is what it really was, right out of the pages of his little books he paws through. It hasn't snowed much in his lifespan.
I repeated, 'yes, its snow.'
He then started jumping and clapping, 'SNOW!!!!!'
He then started running around the house, 'Dendall, its snow!! Etan its snow!!!!'
They opened their groggy eyes.
Kendall asked, 'do I still have school?'
Ethan asked, 'can I go outside?'
Can't they all be two?

I then went downstairs to start breakfast and pack Kendall a lunch because its too stressful to buy a lunch...people will look at her!!!! Jacob followed me down, opened the curtain in the living room and shouted; 'It's snowing downstairs too!!!' Then proceeded to run everywhere in the house; 'snow out dis window....and dis window,...and dis window!!'

'Dendall!! Etan!!! Snow comes everywhere!!!'

Love that kid.
After school and an hour of wrangling three children into their snow gear that may or may not fit, and convincing them that bibs are the perfect pair of snow pants, no snow gets in them, and no, she doesn't look like a puffed up ball of puffiness in her snow pants everyone will look the same, we were outside.


The little weasel helped me build a snowman. He was so proud. As you can see by putting just the rear end to the snowman, Stan was indifferent. He hates snow and sat on a little patch of green the rolling of the snowballs made. Sissy.

Hopefully is snows everywhere some more this winter. I told Kendall that looking like a puff ball of puffiness happens to by my style.





11.17.2012

Hitting the Pavement

So.
Its been a little bit now.
I can safely admit that I am running again.
Running and me have a real love/hate relationship.

For one, it causes my feet to look as though they have been walking through the desert with no protection from the elements and then been gnawed on by an occasional lizard. At some point the nails just come off. Like they are some piece of dried skin, flake right off, its so hot, I know.

On the plus side, the shape my body will eventually, after like 6 years of this, begin to match my chicken legs. For when I don't run and then proceed to get pregnant 6 times and have three children my body takes on the shape of an upside down pear. And some might say, thats awesome, your rack is plentiful. Let me tell you, they aren't all their cracked up to be, in fact I'm not quite sure why people pay for them, but that's for another post. But let me just say, I wear a sports bra as well as my sausage casing so that I don't knock myself out while running. (sausage casing: a sport tank that most women can wear as a sports bra) I literally feel like, well, a sausage, from the waist on up.

The time of day that I do most of my running is going to make me mentally insane. I run at 5:30 a.m. on some days. I know, its like I'm on crack or something. I want to be done well before the kids are up and I prefer to run outside, so this is what I have to do...definitly not what I want to do. I am sure the novelty will wear off at some point.

Once in a great while I run when I get home from work at 11:30 p.m. I'm up, I have a caffeine high from coffee and diet pepsi, I might as well run it off. So if I remember, I change before I get home, jump out of my car, and run. I actually run the longest and the fastest at this time. I run in well lit areas, in  my neighborhood, carry a flash light, and run like the boogie man is fast on my heels. I tell you what. I'm not the only one in my neighborhood running at this time, just last week, I passed two other women running. It's like we come from another planet, us moms. We want to run. Have 3 blood sucking mongrels to take care all day who have made you need to run. So then you have to run at times when it best fits their schedules. Could they be any more selfish?

When I run in the morning, I am at my worst. I mean the things that come out of my mouth when running this early will make you think you were running with a sailor. It's not pretty or something I am proud of, its just I am not a morning person and my body gives me that big f you at about 5:45 a.m. I want to throw myself in front of the trash truck barreling down the road, which by the way, 'SPEED LIMIT IS 25 MPH PAL!!' Ok, so maybe I don't exactly say pal, but this is a mommy blog. But I literally want to die or just puke all over the place. I opt to keep going, for the sake of the selfish children. Because I have to be done my run to take care of them, they don't do this themselves. Honestly?

However, the trudging  on for the sake of the children leads to the one thing I love about running; the end. It is then instant gratification. I term my running style the tortoise and the hare. I will run like it is almost a walk until the very end and then sprint like my rear end is on fire. I then collapse in a heap on my kitchen floor, and then it hits me...I am done. I ran today, and its over, and I don't have to do it for another entire day. My mind really does work like that. It's like entering a circus ring, I'm sure.

When I am not running outside because my body curled up into a fetal position and would not allow my brain to make it run in the morning, or because my feet hurt too bad at night have forbid me to make one more step,  I will run on the tread mill. Some people are like, 'you have a treadmill, its so easy, run inside, whenever you want, turn on the tv.' Blah, Blah, Blah. Here's what. Treadmills are stupid. The pounding, the getting nowhere fast, the noise, the repitition. The television show does not distract you. Its amazing how it will distract you when you are eating a snack and before you know it, the bag is empty. But let me tell you, its not that way on the treadmill. Don't get me wrong, its nice to have a distraction, other then a wall, because mine is in the basement in front of the tv, but its way to easy to just stop. When outside you are running away from home, and eventually, on most days, you want, o.k., need, to get back. So you have to move your body to get there, and if you run, you get there faster. On a treadmill you can be like, forget this, and stop. It requires a lot of discipline to run on a treadmill, none of which I have. Have you met me?

Also, have you tried running on a treadmill with small children around?
'Mommy, can I have a turn now?'
'Mommy, I need a drink right now!'
'Mommy, move your foot a little bit, I am going to send one of my guys down along side of you so he shoots off into the wall.'
'Mommy, can you get me snack?'
'Mommy, can we watch my show?'
'Mommy, please, please, can we play on that like we are food shopping? Here E, you go get all the stuff you want to buy, I will be the money collector, just move a little Mommy.'
And the new fave since we watched Elf.
'Let's play Santas elves, you send a toy down and we can pretend we are making toys, Mommy, just jump over them when Kendall sends down the big ones.'

It's seriously right now only like 45 minutes out of my life daily. But it seriously wants to feel like its 4 hours. But I still do it. Not because I like to wear leggings. Not because Adidas has some really awesome kicks. Ok, maybe just a little bit. But I do it even though I hate it, because I know that I will eventually learn to love it. History repeats itself. And eventually being able to run a marathon sounds pretty awesome.

Philadelphia Marathon 2024? Anybody want to join me?



11.15.2012

How to not Lose a Tooth

I'm pretty sure my child goes through an episode of amnesia when losing each and every tooth in her mouth. It's as if she cannot remember that once the tooth comes out she was elated, remarking at how easy that was, laughing at her ridiculousness.

Because here's what.

When Kendall has a loose tooth we are take shelter in our own personal bomb shelters that protect us from her moody and dramatic episodes regarding the tooth until it finally just falls out. It literally has to be at the point where it just drops out of her mouth for her to be ok with all of it.

It starts like this:

"Mommy! My tooth is loose! See!?!?'
This is the beginning we all look at each other knowing the escape plan, careful to make no sudden moves. It is at the beginning that she lets us wiggle it, admire it, be excited about it, plan for the tooth fairy to come fluttering around our house like the entire process was a joyful coming of age event.

However. After this initial wiggle, that's it. She becomes unlike every other kid who sits and wiggles it all day, turning and twisting, willing it to come out. She actually will only wiggle it once a week or so. However, will ask daily, in fact several times daily:

"Mommy, when do you think this tooth will fall out? Like a week? Next month? Before Halloween/"

"Hey Kendall, maybe you should wiggle it and twist it a little bit, then it will loosen up and come out faster. I really have no idea of knowing though."

"You're kidding, right? I can't wiggle it!! It will hurt!! You really have no idea?"

"No."

Sometimes in the moments when I see her doing her weekly tooth wiggle, I will avoid eye contact and slowly back out of the room as to not stir up the drama.

For if I do not escape, I get:

"Mom, it is so super loose, please tell me how to get it out, please help me, I just want it out."

"Kendall, you need to wiggle it, twist and turn it. Want me to give it a try?"

"WHAT!?!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Are you seriously telling me you are going to touch my tooth, that is so gross. No way."

It is in the moment I want to say...."You think that's gross, hey guess what? YOU CAME OUT OF MY VAGINA, COVERED IN BLOOD AND SLIME!!!" But I don't. I could think its weird that the same child who picks her nose, or licks spatulas with her brothers thinks that a finger of her mothers in her mouth is gross. But we are talking about a child who is going to win an Oscar, and they all have some weird issue to write a book about, so I let it slide.

So another few weeks goes by.

The tooth is now literally hanging by a thread.
When she talks to me it is blowing in and out with each breath.
I am almost reaching for safety googles because I think it might fly out and hit me in the eye.

And here's what. At this point most people might refrain from eating things that may prove difficult. Like lets say an apple. Corn on the cob. Gum. A Starburst. Nope, not Kendall. She will contort her entire jaw so that she can eat said food without disrupting the tooth.

"Hey Kendall, you know I lost my teeth when I was little and I was pretty good at getting them out, want some pointers?"

"No, this is going to hurt so bad."

"Kendall, it is hanging by one root, it is ready to come out."

"No, it is a thick root this time, like really thick, thicker then last time, I checked."

We are at the point that if she shuts her mouth, the tooth is hanging out. She is snaggle tooth.

Then there is the dreadful night.
She will climb onto the the counter in the bathroom and sit herself in front of the mirror, and start to wiggle it.
We all attempt to run for cover. My poor boys.
There is no escape. It happens every time.
She sits up here at bathtime, while they are immersed in bubbles.
She wiggles and then starts sobbing. Its the same every time. She has the script perfected.

"Look at the blood. Oh my gosh. There's alot. Oh my gosh. It's gushing. There is so much more then last time. Mommy. Mommy. It is going to hurt so bad."

"Kendall just twist it, it will just rip right free."

The tooth is now of the gum and it is dangling by a root. I'm not kidding. Every single time.

"Kendall, it has to come out. Please just let me take it out for you. Shut your eyes."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! There is too much blood."

"Remember last time, same thing, and it didn't even hurt."

"Are you sure!!?!? This tooth is different. I know it. Oh my gosh what if it falls out while I am sleeping!?!? 'O' at school told me that if I swallow it, it comes out in my poop, the tooth fairy doesn't go after it."

I seriously am engaging in this conversation about whether or not a tooth fairy digs through poop.

"Kendall, if it falls out of your mouth, the tooth fairy comes. Whether you swallow it or you lose it. She knows it has come out and she is ok with not getting a tooth every time, she will still come, you can leave her a note explaining it"

"Ohhhhh....look at my poor mouth."

Slobber and blood dripping off the chin.

Boys now shouting, "Twist it, wiggle it!!"

And every time.

Bath time over. Sitting reading or watching a show and eating a snack.

"Oh, hey Mommy, my tooth just came out."

And there it is in all its glory between her two fingers every time.
She is calm as a cucumber.
She writes a lovely letter for the tooth fairy and leaves her a treat.
Smiles big for the camera.
Falls fast asleep.
Completely forgets the ending of the tooth saga.
Every time.




11.07.2012

Romans 13:1

Man alive.
Its rough when your candidate isn't victorious, huh?
There is opinions all over twitter and facebook and from the mouths of moms in preschool lines.
But lets just be mindful, despite winning or losing...

"Let every person be subject to governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God". -Romans 13:1
 
In other words...sit down.

11.06.2012

O


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Here's my food for thought as you emark on your day:

On Being Christian and Voting as a Democrat <-------click to connect to blog post

Of course there are considerably more issues at hand to discuss, but this was a blog post people, not a dissertation. We stick to the main points so it all kind of ends well.
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My friend Shannon posted this link today and I found it encouraging and discouraging at the same time, but very true:

6 Things to Keep in Mind <----click to connect to article
Fave Quote from this article:  'If people put as much energy into charity, volunteerism, mentoring, entrepreneurship, and creating non-governmental solutions as they do into politics, our elections would matter a whole lot less.' 

Thanks Shannon.

And then of course the funny and sarcastic...cause lets get real...Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: I hope Romney has binders full of people who can explain to him why it's weird to have binders full of women.Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: If I had a nickel for every political post I saw on Facebook, I'd be a member of Romney's 'middle class.'



11.01.2012

Hurricane Humbleness

Here's me:
Seriously? Is it necessary to talk about a coming storm for 5 days before it is 'predicted' to make land fall? They always do this, get everyone all hyped up and then nothing. They go to Lowes. They buy rope, hammers, shovels, rakes, generators, plywood. Can someone tell me where their supplies went from the last threatened storm? Do you need to buy a new shovel for each storm? Do they fly away? Get picked up in debris? Not exactly sure, but it keeps Mr. Lowe happy.

Stop worrying. We have lived in this neighborhood for 6 years, the electric has never gone out, our lines are underground.

But Melissa, they go under from lines above ground somewhere.

Well somewhere must be Illinois, because it is never an issue.

Here's me.
No extra water. No flashlights with batteries. No extra candles. Freezer filled with food.

Going to Target, need anything?

I can just pick it up tomorrow.

Are you driving home from work tonight?

Of course I am driving home from work. I drove to work 7 months pregnant in a devastating snow storm at four in the morning and got out to shovel myself out twice on 309, you think some wind and rain is going to stop me!?!?

Here's me at 4 pm: Can someone put my kids bikes away?

Here's me at 5 pm: You got extra water at your house? You filled your bathtub? Cool.

Here's me at 6 pm: What do you mean the boardwalk is gone? Does this mean summer vacation is off for next year? Someone call Chris Christie and get his opinion on whether or not I should rent a home or wait until the following summer.

7 p.m.: Text from neighbor: Electric is out.

Here's me: real funny.

Silence

Here's me: You're serious!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! What am I going to do? I just bought milk. Did it come back on yet? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Neighbor: I think you are overreacting a little bit. You act like I told you the roof ripped off your home.

Here's me: Apparently you have never been without electricity with three small children. PANIC IS NECESSARY!!!! It still is out?

Neighbor: Of course, have you looked out a window?

Here's me: No! I am sitting by the fire at work watching the boardwalk float away and wondering how cool the roller coasters will be for people in hundreds of years to find on the ocean floor.

9 p.m.: Ok, so maybe I should think about staying here. You're all staying here? Are the mattresses comfortable? Why did people who live near the ocean stay in their homes? Listen, if Chris Christie were in charge of my state and he told me to evacuate to Oklahoma I would get on the road, he has crazy anger in his eyes. You think he is going to run for president?  Did you hear him just slam that mayor. Man, could you imagine him in the Middle East?

10:30 pm.: Ok, so you just drove here, is it that bad? Do you think its ok?

Friend: So long as a power line or tree doesn't fall on your car while driving home, you should be fine. It's dark though, makes its really creepy.

Here's Me: Ok, I am going to start my car.

I about fly across the parking lot into my car.

Ok, perhaps the hurricane is here.

I get in my car and begin to drive. It was scary. I did look like some old lady looking up out of windshield hunkered up against my steering wheel squinting making sure a tree wasn't coming my way.

Get literally 2 minutes from home. I am a driving statistic.
Wires start flying loose, tree limbs are flying across the road in front of me.
I am directed to turn into a development because I can't continue the way I am going. I have absolutely no idea where I am.

Here's me. Moment of genius. To get to a main route Melissa, follow the snow evacuation route signs. I literally almost had to pull over and pat myself on the back. I did not lose all of my mind to these children.

I get to that road, little Honda Civic in front of me. All of a sudden, green light explodes everywhere. Warning blares are going off from my brain, this is a transformer Melissa!!!! BLEEEP!!!! The Civic swerves, a telephone pole comes down between us. The old lady in me once again looks up, its me or him with these wires.  Somehow they spread making a circle around his car. I put myself in reverse, turn around, the guy is looking out his window, I yell at him to stay in his car, but of course I must have looked like a big fat animated muppet flailing and waving out my window because there is no way he can hear me in the wind and rain.

I turn and there is emergency vehicles. The fireman asks me where I am going, I hesitate wanting to say Chuckie Cheese, and now these dumb wires are in my way.  I reply though with, 'home', biting my tongue. He then asks if I am allowed to be on the road? Is this a trick question? Is this the extra credit question on the test? I say, 'well I am a healthcare worker returning from my shift'. He says to me, right answer, I look at him and  want to ask, is there not a man in a civic you need to tend to instead of going over Disaster Rules with me, I got those 5 days ago on Action News, thanks Monica Malpass.

Here's me:
On phone with neighbor: I THINK I CRAPPED MY PANTS!!!!!! I AM DRIVING IN A HURRICANE!!!!

Here's me 2 am:
Blazing Bright lights, loud noises. I turn, scream, 'turn off the lights, the kids are sleeping and shut up before you wake them up or I will punch you in the face!!!' 
Here's me 30 seconds later:
Wait a second... the lights...Its back on!! And I get up and race around the house switching things off like I am in some game show.

Here's me 4 days later:
If you have one more day off from school I am seriously committing myself.
If Chris Christie runs for president, I am voting for him.
I bought flashlights, candles, batteries, and extra water to store.
No shovel. I still have mine from last snow storm.

I know, you are thinking I am an idiot. I readily admit to this. But cut me some slack. If you live where I live we pretty much always get all the hype about the 'could be' weather conditions, with none of the predicted results.

I also realize of course that we are tremendously fortunate to have had minimal damage to our home, belongings, and family because there are those who's losses are great. I make light of the situation because I am a moron. I am one of those who wouldn't have listened to Chris Christie and he definitely would have had a talking to with me and the thought of that frightens me. We keep all those who have lost in this hurricane in our prayers and thoughts. And if you live close, a hot meal and shower.

Here's me: Humbled


10.25.2012

My form of Mom Jeans, Gangnam Style

Now that I have got you refreshed and up to date on the offspring, let's head right on back into my every day chaos.

So totally not sure about the rest of you, but 'Gangnam Style' has been stuck in my head on continual repeat for the past two weeks. I now decided this week that I needed to look into this song since Kendall came home one day and informed me that I dance just like that guy. She then later repeated this and  put on a little show of her own to demostrate this point in my kitchen while I was making dinner one night. Here's also how I know that I am getting old and indeed have 3 children. I need to youtube the video because I had not idea what anyone, including my daughter, was talking about. Immediately there needs to be a sign on my forehead that refers to me as a dork. I mean seriously? I am now that mom that has no idea what their kids are talking about in regards to something trending. Here's my mom flash back 15 years talking to her friends from church in her mom jeans...'I don't know what it is, something on the computer, called the world wide web? All I know is that it ties up my phone lines.'  THIS IS ME!!! And I totally have on yoga pants right now with a long sleeved tee, this must be my generations Lee Stone Washed Jeans with a turtle neck tucked into the waist! Mad props to my mom though who now wears low waisted skinny jeans...there is hope for my future after this children stop sucking at my brain.

But back to my now fashionable Korean:

O.k. so perhaps I do occasionally saddle up while dancing and mimic a cowboy. And, alright, maybe I do kind of chase the children around the home while doing crazy dance moves to annoy them. However, I am not korean, SURPRISE. Not only that this first time I heard this song I thought for sure he was saying, 'open condom style,' and I was like, what the heck!?!?! To make matters worse,  I had no idea at first that he was singing or whatever he is doing, in korean, I just simply thought I could not understand him, with the exception of this one line, oh and 'HEEEEEEY SEXY LADY'.! So I was of course horrified to know that this newly buzzed about song was in fact encouraging the use of condoms being open. I know, I can't make sense of it either when I think about it, what does and open condom style even mean? But in the heat of the astonishment here in my head it made complete sense. Of course, everyone knows what open condom style is! First a nuclear threat and now unsafe sex!!!!  And thats right, I am typing the words condom and sex on my blog that my parents read. Although I am pretty certain with the three grandchildren I have bestowed unto them they are aware that I do indeed know what a condom is. What's up Dad?

So then of course I ban this song. Cannot believe that they even play this on the radio, and why is George Stephanopolaus not as upset about this as me and ranting about it at 7 a.m.!?!?! Top news!?!? George!?!?!

 Kendall was not better, once I found then found out it was Gangnam Style, he was saying, I asked her what the guy was saying, you know because a six year olds take is vital, and she says, ' He's saying, HEEEEEEYYYYY CRAZY LADY, whomp, whomp whomp, you are shing shang si.' I asked her what does that even mean, she tells, 'he is saying hey crazy lady, in both american and chinese language, shing shang si, means, crazy lady.'

Alright then.

I also sometimes find it fascinating that the things I do inside the privacy of my own home other people may do and then make millions. I mean Kendall has a point, I do 'dance' crazy like this, but I was not in fact calling it dancing, it was the interpretive movements of a mother on her last straw of the day; a bit tribal and therapeutic at the same time one may presume. And maybe it was done to some upbeat tempo that perhaps wants to make you shake your booty or flail your legs like a...like a, I really am not sure, but regardless it made me feel better.

Now when I first watched the video after hearing it played a zillion times, I was very confused. Because I am getting old and the humor was lost on me through almost the entire video. What is with all the randomness? Whats with the horse barn? Flying fire extinguisher contents in the face? The life preserver? Cross Dresser in a parking garage? And please, please do not get me started on the elevator and the toilet. Wikipedia, my go to and source of all truth, says that Gangnam is a district in Seoul. Is this how they act in Gangnam? This is their style? Could be that I just don't speak Korean, so following this story would be impossible anyway. I mean maybe being in a sauna and then flashing to an explosion makes perfect sense.

Then I get to the end. They are a group dancing his crazy dance and it is then I flash back to the Thriller video and I once again proclaim this time to PSY, instead of Michael Jackson, I will learn this dance. In the end, it really is not as awesome as Thriller, but I must say it is the same rewind replay action that had me master the basics of Michael to be able to bust a move whenever Thriller is played. This time I had my little side kick with me. 'Kendall, homework can wait, this afternoon we are mastering shing shang si.'

I am thinking flash mob?
Who's with me?

Study Up. I will post the dates and times of try outs soon.
Gangnam Style

10.18.2012

#78 for Florida State

The middle child is very soft spoken. He is sensitive and he is at his best sitting quietly being creative. He will share his thoughts and what he thinks is funny. And man, can he be humble. He is quite alright with someone taking the thunder. He is cautious and meticulous. I sometimes say aloud, 'he is my little Eagle Scout. '

The eldest makes the kitchen her stage, she twirls and sings and shakes that thing like no one elses business. She is the social butterfly informing me this morning that she is in a club at recess. I asked her what sort of club, she informed me a friend club. (aka, a clique) You know, you bite your tongue sometimes, you fear the worst, you fear your child and the movie Mean Girls. Then I envision Tina Fey coming to her school and her wearing a body cast to the prom. I go to that extreme, really. But promise only in my head. However,  I made sure to tell her that she should let anyone in the club in that wants to be.  She cocked her head and looked at me like I was mental, which maybe I am. She then said, 'we know that, we want all of recess to be in our club and we can all sit around and sing and dance and talk on the black top.' At least she gets the idea of politics.

So as you can see...

Things could be very quiet here, toys could be kept nice, carpets clean, laundry heading in the right direction. I have a girly girl and a boy who was his mama's boy and likes to have structure like his mama.

And then came the tyrant...

 
You know, if you want to have some kids and you want to get a good idea of what a boy, a typical boy may act like. I would say, come over here and I will provide you with complete opposites. Ethan will teach exert some manners and talk your ear off about superheroes, and then you will be pleased and perhaps excited. However, please stop at the pharmacy though, before hand,  and pick up your new prescription of xanax because as you come in the front door, there will be Jake to your left standing on the counter saying, 'I jump far!!' He will then take a flying leap off the counter and roll across the hardwood floor, as I proclaim, 'hey Jake, please don't roll in the pile of dirt I just swept up again, land a little more to the right next time.'

Some comments from friends while spending some time around Jake:

'um Jake is walking along the outside edge of the porch, did you want me to grab him?'

'uh, Jake is on the roof of the car yelling at all the other kids, want me to help you get him down?'

'I think Jake just pushed the chair up to the fridge and has given every child in the neighborhood a popsicle.'

'Jake is riding the power wheel truck around the block and is running head first into trees and running over the other kids bikes.'

'Jake just brought a baseball bat from upstairs and is chasing Kendall and Ethan around the house.'

'So, Jake is on the landing on your staircase and is asking me to watch him jump.'

'Jake is standing on the edge of the diving board bouncing asking me to catch him, I do not have a swim suit on.'

'Jake is sitting on top of the toy shelf in the basement.'

'Jake just chased the cat down the street.'

'Jake just spilled an entire of glass of hawaiian punch on the carpet.'

'Jake just walked in my door and is sitting on my floor playing, did you know he was outside?'

'Jake just threw a ball and it landed in the gutter and he is trying to get out the window to get it.'

I don't know...this child...he is just plain chaotic. No surface is safe, no toy left untouched. He is a full of 'bright,' ideas.
 
 
He is an adventure seeker. He is a dare devil. He has no fear. He is a headache. He is adorably sweet with a blond hair which on humid days spirals into tight curls. He knows what he wants and will always attempt to get it. He calls me 'Maaa-yeee.'  He actually looks like my side of the family. I knew those genes could work if they really wanted to.


He loves to laugh and make others laugh. He loves being included with his brother and sister. He is never without food on his face. He is always messy. He wakes up and his body is on 'play' until he is put to bed and he is out within minutes.

The pediatrician let me know that if he continues with this growth pattern he will be the size of a linebacker when he is through. Good thing he is athletic. I mean totally minor. I can totally work 5 jobs to support his appetite. There is just one linebacker rule I have. Its simple. No crack. Linebackers always bend over at the line of play and butt crack is shown. I have no problem traveling to the pan handle to watch #78, (the year of his mother's birth of course) play for Florida State, but there will be a motto, 'crack is whack.'


He is my third child. He is my last, and therefore, he is my baby, FOREVER. He is definitely treated as such. Who can resist a linebacker that still curls up on his mama like this...


 
 

 
,

10.11.2012

The Eldest

As previously mentioned Kendall came walking out of me a healthy 23 year old child.
As also previously mentioned if she does not win an academy award or tony at some point in her life, it would be a real talent wasted.

The theatrics. If you actually feed into them and take them seriously you may actually go right on and jump off a bridge. The attitude sometimes makes me look at her and think, why does this child have me coming out of her mouth?!?!? The only difference is, my censor button works, hers has yet to be purchased and so things that you just think to say but don't really come out of her mouth with no qualms.

I love this girl dearly. I love the freckles on her face. I love her toothless smile. I love her hugs and I love her imagination. I love when she gets her music going and without warning she busts down the stairs or out of the bathroom downstairs holding a pretend mic, performers face and attitude in tact and she rocks it out like she ran out on stage to perform for all of her adoring fans.

She can be so very funny. She enjoys talking in accents. Occasionally she will tell me she is speaking a particular language, german, chinese, spanish, but they are all words and sounds that make no sense and always have a french accent. I don't know, I suppose thats where an acting coach will come in handy. After she gets a part time job waiting tables to pay for said coach.

Kendall is now in first grade. In case you didn't know that means she is big stuff. I mean seriously, being in school all day, packing a lunch. She is the cats meow. We have already lost a library book.

I love to mimic Kendall when she isn't around because you must laugh about it. Just this morning she gave me a running commentary on her clothing. Clothing and Kendall are a pretty touchy subject. They must resemble what she thinks is cool or stylish and it may not be whatever is trendy, but you need to get it right or all chaos ensues...kind of like this morning.

'Seriously? This shirt has like no design on it? You really think that no design looks normal?'

'Kendall, it is a plain purple shirt. A plain purple shirt with leggings and a jean skirt. Not every shirt needs to have a design.'

'I cannot go to to school without a design on my shirt its an assembly day, bright colors, I am supposed to stand out.'

'Purple is a bright color Kendall. It is a royal color. You will certainly at the very least look royal. It's your favorite color.'

'I cannot believe it. I just can't believe it.I do like purple, but like a purple with a silver design on something, like this is so plain purple. Are you going to wear a shirt with no design on it?'

'No, I am going to wear a shirt with a design on it that says my daughter drives me insane!! Now go downstairs and eat a pop tart with a design on it.'

Now you might say don't engage in the back and forth with her. It is the outfit that you had previously agreed upon, she wears it and goes to school. Ok, why don't you come over and give that a shot. I dare you.

Her teachers always say to me, 'Kendall is just so quiet, I wish she would come out of her shell a little bit.' I assure them that this is not what they want. I am quite ok with this really. I mean if she is going to either be a drama queen at school or at home, I obviously would prefer the home. Which means she gets it, you keep the crazies quiet in public.

She is an adolescent girl in a six year old's body. And no Mom, I do not encourage it. I may be in for it when she is 16, or she may just get it out of her system now. Either way, I am well seasoned.



10.10.2012

The Middle



I will start with the middle child because he is my favorite.
Wait, what?
Let me try again.
I will start with the middle child because his big brown eyes melt my heart.
One more time.
I will start with the middle child because sometimes I feel guilty, like maybe he suffers from middle child syndrome. I would have no idea what that might feel like, I was the oldest so I was the boss, more out spoken then my other two siblings.
So needless to say, I am a push over when it comes to Ethan. I admit it. No need to tell me or hold some intervention. He may never move out and I will end of feeding him and doing his laundry for the rest of his life due to this, but at least I won't be lonely.

He has said he is going to be a zoo keeper. He has promised that I can live at the zoo with him. But in a little house next to his. Alright, I can deal with that. I asked him if I could sing and dance and welcome everyone to the zoo daily. He kindly said, 'that's ok Mommy, but you can sing when every one goes home...for like one show's time.' Every thing here is measured out in increments of show length. 'How long until I go to school?'  'Two shows time.'

So this is progress. Two years ago this child wanted to crawl back into my womb, bring his blankie, and call it home.

I simply started with Ethan because he just plain grew up. Kendall came out of me and was already 23, and Jake, listen I don't know what's up with that kid, he literally is a hurricane. So to have a child actually become more and more independent and begin to spread those little wings is fascinating to me. I literally thought I was going to have to shove him from the nest and set the place on fire so he wouldn't have something to return to.

This kid has friends. And not only that, he asks daily when school starts, and gets a little disappointed if there is no school. This kid has confidence in his skills and can confidently tell you when he is or isn't ready to acquire a new one.  I told him the other day as he sat coloring, 'E you are such a good artist.'  He replied, 'I know that Mommy.' And he sat there laughing some giggle un der his breath that had this mocking tone, that really was 'duh, like no kidding, look at this piece I just created, catch up.'

Yet, riding a bike with two wheels is a work in progress. He will do this willingly at my grand parents farm, but told me he is not ready for the 'sharp' turns in the neighborhood.

He really did say sharp. He also told me yesterday that he was 'really picking up the skills that are necessary to whistle. '

Hello vocabulary.

Where does he get it? Ok, so perhaps I did just say to him and his brother, 'If you two cannot respect each others boundaries I am going to have to intiate an alternate activity to play.' A full vocabulary must be like spanish, if you teach it from a young age they just may be fluent, ok so maybe a bit of a dork, but I talk like that, you expect me to change? Get real.

And he isn't all Spelling Bee Champ Vocab. Please. He does have speech issues surrounding his 'sl's, and l's' I personally find it mad cute. 'Hey Mommy, remember this summer when we pwayed on the swip and swide? I wuved that.' So needless to say there will be some speech therapy in Elementary School, I am sure. Right now it's one of those things I can constantly correct, or just go on with conversation because I clearly understand him, screw everyone else. I don't know I have never heard a grown man ask, 'can I pwease have swice of pizza?' So I am totally cool with it and have no worries.

Ethan did not head to Kindergarten this year. This is where having them a year apart from each other works in my favor and not have me longing for my sanity to return. I could actually see from the time that Kendall started preschool that Ethan was more behind her then one year. This kid was so disinterested in anything school while Kendall was screaming mad on the first day of preschool that she did not come home with the ability to read chapter books.  So Ethan is in Pre Kindergarten at the same preschool he attended last year. He is in this class with two of his closest homies, which could have gone either way. He could have been completely distracted and playing ninjas when he is supposed to be reciting his abc's, but it has built his confidence and made the classroom comfortable.I have seen learning actually click. To the point where he says to sister, 'Kendall why do you cry about homework? Its fun.' I wouldn't exactly go that far.

When asking Ethan what is favorite things to do he replied:

1. Color
2. Play Super Heroes, or Power Rangers, or Ninjas
3. Go to School
4. Watch SuperHeroes
5. Play Dinosaurs and learn their names
6. Practice Whistling

Man he is determined to whistle.






10.08.2012

Here I Go Again...

Seriously.
Its for reals.
You may not even like it.
You may say the world was a better place with her random mouth shut.

I decided my mind was a better place to live when I wrote.
It help me smile about my kids instead of want to run the opposite direction pretending they were not mine.

So with my mind made up and too many stories to tell, I was like, ok well here I go again...

And immediately White Snakes, 'Here I Go Again,' pops into my head.

Thats right, I am still the same person underneath and over a year later.
Don't you go worrying about, or perhaps hoping for a change.
'Here I go again on my own. Goin' down the only road I've ever known.'
Its going to be in my head all.day.long. Yours too, with flashes of men with long teased out hair and lycra pants. Why did people think this was hot? Can someone tell me how one might look in the mirror and think that perhaps they look awesome?

Regardless.
Rambling starts tomorrow.