On Snow

Poor kid forgot to winterize the Jeep.

So he saw his shadow. Do you care? I don't. I feel bad for the little guy, all coming out to take a leak, gather something to eat, all these people in his business.

 It's going to snow tomorrow. It's winter. I need to pull up my granny panties and be on with it.

However, followed right by him seeing his shadow, and tomorrow's 4 to 6 inches, no wait, 3 to 5, no it's 2 to 4...and will change like every freaking hour by our roving weather men, is the prediction of the biggest snow storm of the season next weekend. How splendid.

Predictions placed upon groundhogs. Pretty daunting. All this thing wants to do is eat and burrow. I can totally relate.

It's like me saying if my cat farts in her sleep and the stench wakes me from my sleep before 6 a.m., then there will be six more weeks of winter. People, it is now Lillian the Cat Day, and there will be six more weeks of torture. I could have placed my bet on it before she had even released the bomb.

 This is not my cat, it's my Mom's. But I'm sure she farts too. I made her play outside with the kids last snow day. She too was pissed about seeing her shadow.

But who really cares about my cat's farts? I don't really care about Groundhog's Day.

This winter though.
I think I am just plain old 35.

I mean its so pretty when snow falls. It's so quiet out there isn't it? I called my mom during one snow fall and proclaimed to her that she needed to open her door and look at the snow flakes closely. They actually looked like snow flakes that you see in a print of something all dimensional and stuff. I was fascinated, or really down on some sleep. 

However. It has been so cold. I mean you open the door and it actually hurts your bones to be out in it. I scream/squeal like a girl each time I run out into it to my car. Why can't someone come and start my car for me so it's nice and toasty in the morning? Come on. Not even every morning, just once in awhile when it is like 3 degrees outside just shoot me a text, 'Hey I was driving by on my way to Jersey and thought I would start your car for you exactly at 8.40 a.m. so it is ready by 9 to drive the kids the half a mile to school. Toss me your keys!' I will make you coffee, I will sing to you, I will proclaim you the biggest hero in my life. Not enticing you? Yeah, I don't blame you. Its freezing out there.

Then you add snow on top of it and it's all like mad chaos up in here. I know, I totally sound like the biggest creep all hating on winter with 3 small children. It's not that I hate it, per se. I like to ski. When it's sunny. And over thirty degrees. I just prefer to be nice and toasty. My dream is to own a beach cottage, that had previously been a beach shack, and fix it all up like I am Nicole Curtis from the Rehab Addict. My feet prefer to be bare and on sand. My skin warm and smelling like coconuts. Not all cold and itchy requiring a vat of lotion to feel alive. But it can't be any beach, and it can't be any shack, and so we endure winters until the time comes, cause that's really what the theme is, enduring. And the weather has certainly given me that opportunity.

It's o.k. and all to go tromping through the snow. Specifically since children eat this joyful event up. 'SNOOOOOOOW!' Two have now reached the age where they understand snow days from school. I can remember this all too well. I would actually pack up my things and hitch a ride with the first available parent to my best friends house to get stuck there and eat Ramen, watch reruns on the boob tube, and watch her fight with her siblings all day.

 Here's what though. I have since moved my children to the school district I attended as a child. And let me tell you something. This school district stares down snow storms. It crosses its arms and watches the list of school closing and delays grow and grow. It grits its teeth as the snow begins to fall, daring it to actually grow to depths or dangers worthy of closing our schools. It mocks the weaker schools closing hours before snow has even accumulated an inch. I now, again, listen to people say, 'oh well look, this or that one closed, yours will close for sure...,' they have no idea what they speak of. This school district does not play with vacation days. It waits until the last possible second to make a decision. Your alarm has already gone off, you have already begun your day, coffee is brewing, and you have long since begun to make the noises that let the children know that they need to come out of hibernation. It is then they make the call...if they are going to at all. If you wait for it, your whole routine is thrown off if there is not a cancellation. And then tardiness occurs. That word is no good. And it's a funny joke to no one but the superintendent. This is now my children's lives.

But occasionally there is more then a foot of the white stuff and he will declare it a snow day. And they are all now awake. Half dressed. Half breakfast eaten. One sock on, one off. I can barely form sentences yet. But they are looking at me, looking outside, smiling, eyes glistening...and then it happens...'Mommy can we go outside and play in it...right now?'


So I appease. And I endure. In no particular order:

1. 3 children in almost the same exact size. So snow pants are interchangeable but not so much. And we start...'Kendall did you wear the black bibs or the black boarding pants last time?'...'Ethan, here put these on, no take them off, I think they would better fit Jake, no keep them on here is some for Jake.'...'Did you grow since last week, why are they shorter?!!?! No one in the tri state area has snow pants in stock right now, so in the words of Tim Gunn, make it work. Stop whining!!! You aren't supposed to be able to walk right in snow pants, we go over this every single time!!!'

2. 'You must wear a hat!!!!!!!!! I do not care if you think you look like a fool. You wear a hat. You know what you will look like a fool if you don't wear a hat because you will be the only one not in a hat and your friends will say, are you a fool where is your hat!?!? Don't be that fool.'

3.  'Who cares if the socks have a little pink on them, they are warm, the ones you wore last week smell like butt and are unwashed and crusty, please just wear these and be warm!!!'

4. 'Where is that other glove!!!?!?!? Why can you not put the things back where they came from when I say to put them there!?!? Do I look like a mother or something picking up after you and being organized!!?!?!? Here's the big one and here is the little one, now where are their friends??? In your school desk!!?!?? How does this happen?'

5. 'No, we drink hot chocolate after we come inside from playing outside for no shorter then 1 hour. Beyond that, can you hold a mug with those gloves on? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Don't take them off!!!!'

6. 'O.k., for the 27th try, spread your fingers, keep them like that as I pull the glove over your hand until I say it's o.k. to not be frozen like that. Alright, no wait, where is your pinky finger? It's in the wrong spot with the other finger. Alright, here take it off, we will try again.'

7.  'O.k. sit down. Now push your foot into the boot. PUSSSSH!!!! Not working? O.k., try standing up and wiggling around a little. Got it? Toes in? It feels funny? Oh its the wrong foot, let's do it again.'

8. 'Now this is why I asked does anyone need to go pee pee before we even started this. Well you should have at least tried, I bet a little of that would have come out and you wouldn't have to go so bad right now.'

9. 'Your sister did not laugh you with the scarf on now stop. Tell him you didn't laugh at him please. There is no crying or laughing about scarves, they are pertinent in sub zero temps, now wrap it around your face again. NO LAUGHING!!!'

10. 'Where are your coats? Why did you not hang them on the hook with your school bags last night? We go through this every morning. Alright, now you will just have to sit there while I retrace steps. You're hot!?!?! Do you see the sweat pouring from my forehead, this is hot kid.'

11. 'Hat.On the head.Now.'

12. 'Wait for your brother!!!'

13. 'O.k., let me get ready and I will be right out.'

5 minutes later, on my way out the door...

'I'm cold, can I come in and have hot chocolate now???'

The snow is pretty though.

****And because I love it...picture has to be shared here too...

Best Picture of Winter 2014.
I secretly think he flies on saucers when I am not looking...kid is too much of a natural here.

No comments:

Post a Comment