If you ask me a question and I stare at you blankly in response, and they ask, 'wait, what did you say?' Don't get frustrated.
If the dark circles under my eyes refuse to be covered up my makeup because they have gotten so dark, please don't mail me a Mary Kay Gift Card.
If my children have mismatched socks and their hair looks like rats ran through it all night, grab a brush.
If I doze off mid sentence, please put a blanket over me.
It's this third child.
He has run his poor mother into the ground, has hopped into his little scooter and ran over me at least 50 times.
He is really like no other.
You can't even go to the bathroom in this house without having to be busied by something he has done.
(try 6 balls in the toilet, 6 of them, and Ethan dancing around holding his wenus, while I emptied them all out while trying to ward off Jacob from putting them all back in screaming at me in frustration.) I said a little prayer that one wasn't stuck way down in there, I reached has far as I could, and thanked my other two for not going potty on top of them.
He has now refused all baby foods. Just up and smacked it right off of the high chair tray in revolt.
Eating PB & J because he is too cool for Baby Food.
He is impossible to change. He twists and turns, and crawls away quickly, laughing...poop typically everywhere. It's so wonderful.
He is torso deep into cabinets and the refrigerator, flinging things out behind him. Just yesterday a dozen eggs in carton went flying out. 2 were spared. Floor still sticky.
He tries to cuddle with the cat and when she attempts to walk away he pulls on her tail, and refuses to let go despite her swats and hissing. He just grunts right on back at her...'but snuggle kitty, snuggle.'
He tries to crawl into the bathtub, clothes on, all of the time. Water, no water. He landed in there a few days ago, I was in Ethan's room putting on his shoes. I hear him banging in the empty tub...all is quiet...go running into snatch him out, bubble bath. Bubble bath soap emptied all over him, and all over the tub. Fantastic.
He now is climbing out of his crib.Free falling and wondering why it hurts.
He opens drawers and empties its contents. All.day.long.
He empties the dog and cat's food bowls and eats the spilt contents.
He wants to be up, then he wants to be down. Up again, down again, up, down, up, down....
He chases balls around the house. Zeroes in on them. He is obsessed with them, and in putting them places they don't belong. In shoes, in Stan's water bowel, in the trash, in the fridge, and of course, in the toilet. He now sleeps with one.
He is the resident door patrol. Open them, close them just a little bit...open them back up. If you leave one open he is right on it, closing it behind you...then opening it...breakage of fingers will surely come, and I don't think they will be his.
He apparently does not like to sleep for more than a 3 hour span.
To break him of this I would have to move the rest of the family to a hotel for a week, because he is a screamer. I would have to move the neighbors as well apparently. Because he wakes up everyone else in the home. And have you seen Kendall with a lack of sleep? Seriously, you just want to run and never look back.
And he is loud. Just loud in general. I am loud. People who don't like me I love to annoy them with my volume. I laugh loud, and I talk loud. Jake has inherited this.
But he's cute, right?
He is every one's favorite.
He is a lot of fun and is going to continue to be a lot of fun.
Apparently going to play sports.
Apparently going to cost me some money in home repairs.
But I love the nugget. Oh I love him so. He is a quick little sucker with an agenda and a mind of his own. But I love him with all my heart.
He is endearing. A lover.
But if he would just let me sleep...I might just forgive him later on in life for filling the Principal's office with 6 pigs. A "Get out of Jail Free Card." Because he will be that kid.
"Uh, hello Mrs. Fink? Uh yes, we have Jacob here in the front office because he thought it might be a good idea to put some tacks point up on his teachers chair."
And I'll say.
"Ok, ask him if he wants to use the free pass for sleeping through the night when he was 10 months old now, or next time.'