Hurricane Humbleness

Here's me:
Seriously? Is it necessary to talk about a coming storm for 5 days before it is 'predicted' to make land fall? They always do this, get everyone all hyped up and then nothing. They go to Lowes. They buy rope, hammers, shovels, rakes, generators, plywood. Can someone tell me where their supplies went from the last threatened storm? Do you need to buy a new shovel for each storm? Do they fly away? Get picked up in debris? Not exactly sure, but it keeps Mr. Lowe happy.

Stop worrying. We have lived in this neighborhood for 6 years, the electric has never gone out, our lines are underground.

But Melissa, they go under from lines above ground somewhere.

Well somewhere must be Illinois, because it is never an issue.

Here's me.
No extra water. No flashlights with batteries. No extra candles. Freezer filled with food.

Going to Target, need anything?

I can just pick it up tomorrow.

Are you driving home from work tonight?

Of course I am driving home from work. I drove to work 7 months pregnant in a devastating snow storm at four in the morning and got out to shovel myself out twice on 309, you think some wind and rain is going to stop me!?!?

Here's me at 4 pm: Can someone put my kids bikes away?

Here's me at 5 pm: You got extra water at your house? You filled your bathtub? Cool.

Here's me at 6 pm: What do you mean the boardwalk is gone? Does this mean summer vacation is off for next year? Someone call Chris Christie and get his opinion on whether or not I should rent a home or wait until the following summer.

7 p.m.: Text from neighbor: Electric is out.

Here's me: real funny.

Silence

Here's me: You're serious!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! What am I going to do? I just bought milk. Did it come back on yet? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Neighbor: I think you are overreacting a little bit. You act like I told you the roof ripped off your home.

Here's me: Apparently you have never been without electricity with three small children. PANIC IS NECESSARY!!!! It still is out?

Neighbor: Of course, have you looked out a window?

Here's me: No! I am sitting by the fire at work watching the boardwalk float away and wondering how cool the roller coasters will be for people in hundreds of years to find on the ocean floor.

9 p.m.: Ok, so maybe I should think about staying here. You're all staying here? Are the mattresses comfortable? Why did people who live near the ocean stay in their homes? Listen, if Chris Christie were in charge of my state and he told me to evacuate to Oklahoma I would get on the road, he has crazy anger in his eyes. You think he is going to run for president?  Did you hear him just slam that mayor. Man, could you imagine him in the Middle East?

10:30 pm.: Ok, so you just drove here, is it that bad? Do you think its ok?

Friend: So long as a power line or tree doesn't fall on your car while driving home, you should be fine. It's dark though, makes its really creepy.

Here's Me: Ok, I am going to start my car.

I about fly across the parking lot into my car.

Ok, perhaps the hurricane is here.

I get in my car and begin to drive. It was scary. I did look like some old lady looking up out of windshield hunkered up against my steering wheel squinting making sure a tree wasn't coming my way.

Get literally 2 minutes from home. I am a driving statistic.
Wires start flying loose, tree limbs are flying across the road in front of me.
I am directed to turn into a development because I can't continue the way I am going. I have absolutely no idea where I am.

Here's me. Moment of genius. To get to a main route Melissa, follow the snow evacuation route signs. I literally almost had to pull over and pat myself on the back. I did not lose all of my mind to these children.

I get to that road, little Honda Civic in front of me. All of a sudden, green light explodes everywhere. Warning blares are going off from my brain, this is a transformer Melissa!!!! BLEEEP!!!! The Civic swerves, a telephone pole comes down between us. The old lady in me once again looks up, its me or him with these wires.  Somehow they spread making a circle around his car. I put myself in reverse, turn around, the guy is looking out his window, I yell at him to stay in his car, but of course I must have looked like a big fat animated muppet flailing and waving out my window because there is no way he can hear me in the wind and rain.

I turn and there is emergency vehicles. The fireman asks me where I am going, I hesitate wanting to say Chuckie Cheese, and now these dumb wires are in my way.  I reply though with, 'home', biting my tongue. He then asks if I am allowed to be on the road? Is this a trick question? Is this the extra credit question on the test? I say, 'well I am a healthcare worker returning from my shift'. He says to me, right answer, I look at him and  want to ask, is there not a man in a civic you need to tend to instead of going over Disaster Rules with me, I got those 5 days ago on Action News, thanks Monica Malpass.

Here's me:
On phone with neighbor: I THINK I CRAPPED MY PANTS!!!!!! I AM DRIVING IN A HURRICANE!!!!

Here's me 2 am:
Blazing Bright lights, loud noises. I turn, scream, 'turn off the lights, the kids are sleeping and shut up before you wake them up or I will punch you in the face!!!' 
Here's me 30 seconds later:
Wait a second... the lights...Its back on!! And I get up and race around the house switching things off like I am in some game show.

Here's me 4 days later:
If you have one more day off from school I am seriously committing myself.
If Chris Christie runs for president, I am voting for him.
I bought flashlights, candles, batteries, and extra water to store.
No shovel. I still have mine from last snow storm.

I know, you are thinking I am an idiot. I readily admit to this. But cut me some slack. If you live where I live we pretty much always get all the hype about the 'could be' weather conditions, with none of the predicted results.

I also realize of course that we are tremendously fortunate to have had minimal damage to our home, belongings, and family because there are those who's losses are great. I make light of the situation because I am a moron. I am one of those who wouldn't have listened to Chris Christie and he definitely would have had a talking to with me and the thought of that frightens me. We keep all those who have lost in this hurricane in our prayers and thoughts. And if you live close, a hot meal and shower.

Here's me: Humbled